Beloved: Whisper to a Lonely Heart

I remember a time when I truly believe that I was unlovable. I believed that love was a theory that alluded me every time I thought I came close to getting it. I remember that burning desire to just be understood, to hear someone say "I get it, you are not alone". Most importantly I remember that ever growing void in my heart that I tried to avoid, but that quickly swallowed me in it's lonely and dark embrace.

Have you ever felt this way? Felt alone in a crowded room? Like the puzzle that just couldn't fit? Center of attention but truly a hidden misery? One of the songs that I completely related to during that season of my life was Track of my Tears by Smokey Robinson (I am an oldie at heart =D) The beginning of the song says:

 "People say I'm the life of the party cause I tell a joke or two

All though I might be laughing loud and hearty, deep inside I'm blue

So take a good look at my face, you see my smile look out of place

if you look closer it's easy to trace the track of my tears"

These resonated so loudly with me. I was SO sick of living this double life, a life that outwardly seemed so beautiful but on the inside I was simply broken pieces taped together.

Then in the midst of all this chaos of emotions just when I just thought that I could not take another breath I heard deep inside a soft, loving voice whisper into my spirit

Beloved

The stillness silenced me and stop me right in my tracks, and I wondered "Am I going CRAZY??" Then again I heard so gently,

 " Beloved, come back to me"

I slowly began to realize that I was hearing the voice that I have been trying to silence for awhile, a voice that has been patiently waiting for me to listen, a voice that has been seeing all of my turmoil and pain and have been waiting for me to turn to His loving embrace. If you still haven't figured out the voice that I am talking of its, God, The great I AM, the Alpha and Omega, the Creator of all. This is what He said to me:

"Beloved I have watched as you have cried yourself to sleep, I have witness the moments where you considered your life to be nothing. And through it all I have never left your side. I have been waiting for you to return to me. Don't you understand how much you mean to me, how much I care for you, how much I love you. I sent my son Jesus Christ to die for you, to suffer, to be beaten and humiliated all so you can have LIFE and a relationship with me. A relationship where you are provided for and giving freedom to roll your cares to me. You are so precious to me, I took the time to create you, to give you a purpose. This is not what I want for you, this sadness, this emptiness is not of ME, it is what life without me feels like. I am the giver of life, peace, joy. I understand it all, all of those hidden pain in your heart I see it all.  Don't hide from me, return to me.....

Beloved come back home"

There aren't no words that can explain the relief that I felt. No words that can encompass the feeling of COMPLETE, UNCONDITIONAL love that I felt. How amaze was I to hear, know that the creator of the Heavens cared about little old me. That he cared about my pains and hurts. It felt like a burden was removed when I open my heart back to the One who made it. I don't know who this is for, or what you are going through now. I don't know the pains that you have endured, and the experiences that you have survived. What I do know is that your Heavenly Father misses you and the void in your life and in your heart can only be filled by Him. He is waiting patiently for YOU, just like he waited for me. So surrender, stop fighting aren't you just TIRED? I know I was.

Confess with your mouth and believe in your heart that Jesus Christ DIED for you, that he was crucified, and that on the third day he rose again with all power in his hand. Say it, "Jesus I believe that you are the Son of God. I believe you are my King, the Christ who died on the cross for me and rose again. I believe that you are alive and you are interceding on my behalf. Right now I ask that you forgive me for my sins and come to sit as the King of my heart and life" If you have made this confession, CONGRATS!! welcome to the Kingdom, to the body of Christ your journey has just begun. I hope my blog can be a help to you. If you did not feel ready for this confession I pray that your heart is softened and fear is cast not. Don't wait to return to His Love

Love y'all,