"This Little Light of Mine"

Do you guys remember this little hymn we used to sing as children? A song full of innocence,  and joy yet filled with promise of living a life that can only be described as pleasing to God... What happen to those children I wonder? Some of you might answer LIFE...life is what happen. No one can truly deny that living in this dark and fallen world we are bound to have our fair share of pain, heartache, trauma, and so much more... and in no way am I saying that what you may have endured didn't hurt or that you don't have the right to have moments where you reflect.....BUT when it comes down to the nitty gritty of it all YOU SURVIVED to let the little light  in you shine!! So many of us are ashamed of that light, if we are truly honest with ourselves we sometimes think that living in DARKNESS is easier. Our flesh would have us believe that the darkness is more fulfilling, that living holy and righteously is tooo hard but that is such a lie. 

If it was the truth we wouldn't have that feeling like something is missing when we are living "happily" in our sin, or have this HUGE void in our hearts that seem to be impossible to fill no matter how many things we buy, relationships we have, alcohol/drug that we consume.

So what then..... What should I do?

If you have heard and accepted the word of God and have fallen away

REPENT. Turn back to God. 

Don't Hide in your guilt, allow God to clean you up and make a decision to

grow to a place where you let your light shine!!

 This little light of mine
I'm going to let it shine
Oh, this little light of mine
I'm going to let it shine

Hallelujah
This little light of mine
I'm going to let it shine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine

(CHORUS)

Ev'ry where I go
I'm going to let it shine
Oh, ev'ry where I go
I'm going to let it shine

Out in the dark
I'm going to let it shine
Oh, out in the dark
I'm going to let it shine

For those of still on the fence...hear me out

"Jenny you are always happy", "You must not have any problems, what problems you have to complain about.... "I swear you live in world where all you see is rainbows and shiny things"...... I am told these statements throughout my day basically everyday, Jenny you have no problems that's why you are always happy----ummmm reality check, EVERYONE has problems, problems are not partial to color, height, race or whatever else........and one life lesson I've learned is that often time the ones who smile the brightest have gone through the darkest times. Don't be fooled, or make assumptions from what can only be seen on the surface. The only difference between me and anyone else is that approximately 2 years ago I made a choice.

"My Joy will not be situational, it will be spiritual"

My joy is not dependent on me or the things around me but on the only constant fixture, aspect, component, relationship of my whole life---Jesus Christ.

Getting to a place where I can consistently live this out was not easy and still isn't, GOD only knows how many days I struggle to even get out of bed, let alone do something productive. Some days my bed feels like my only friend, my pillow my only confidant, and sleep my only escape. On those days I remember a truth that resonates in every fiber of my being, I remember that someone died that my light would shine, someone suffered so that I could rise, bled so I could be free to LIVE beyond darkness,  resurrected so that I could stand among the depraved, lost, depressed with confidence and speak of the goodness of knowing that someone who has promise to never leave or forsake me in the midst of it all.

I slowly come to the realization everyday that my light is not for me. A candle does not shine for its own desire but to illuminate the darkness for someone else. When I begin to truly live on fire for Christ I realize how big of an oxymoron it is to live a life of a "Depressed & Scared Christian", especially when we know the author of Joy, love, and peace. So if you are in a place where you are afraid to let your light shine or are in a state of mind where the idea of joy is foreign let me to encourage you and give you some tips that's helped me.

Sunshine Tips

v  Joy is a choice that begins with surrender to the only person that can make you happy no matter the season--Jesus Christ.

- Anything else is a temporary substitute, develop a true relationship with the savior and discover a hidden joy that simply is unexplainable.

v  Guard the gates of your heart, you can't desire joy when you listen to chaos, surround yourself in sadness. (Proverbs 4:23)

- Watch what you listen to consistently (music, news, shows)

- Be attentive to what you read

- Are your friends always negative??

v  Happy food choices = Happy Person

- Food has an influence on how you feel, if you eat crap all the time you will feel awful.

v  Head to Toe Praise

- Recently discovered that when I intentionally find things to be thankful for by the time I reach the 5th or 6th item, I am smiling. So starting from the top of your head just start being thankful for it and move your way down i.e (sound mind, creative thoughts, eyesight, nose to smell beauty/danger, taste buds to taste favorite foods).

v  Treasure Trek

- Discover the treasure that is YOU. Do something that brings you joy? If you think that currently in your life there is nothing start small. There is joy in discovering who you are and recognizing that you  have the power to change.

v  Surround yourself with positive, genuine, happy people and observe their language.

- Life and death lies in the power of the tongue....what you speak becomes your reality.  

v  Baby laughter, funny videos with animals, childhood favorite movies, Disney songs.

- Specific to me these are just a few of my favorite things (hehe, movie reference intentional.....hug if you figured out what movie =D)

You are loved, special, one of a kind, a masterpiece created by the King. There is no one like you in this whole world. He made no mistake when he created, no matter what you've heard, or who's told you otherwise YOU ARE NO MISTAKE. The Creator of the Heaven and Earth rejoiced when you took your first breath on this earth, he smiled when you first laugh as a child, and while you sleep he continues to prepare a marvelous plan for your life, a plan to prosper you not to harm you. He desires an intimate relationship with you, where you can rest in Him because he's promise never to leave you or forsake you, to walk with you through every season of your life, give you love, peace, joy that can't be shaken by any storm in your life.....but you have to CHOOSE. Follow Jesus Christ, I've been on this journey with Him and I wouldn't trade it for anything of this world. Cliche but in all honesty fallen in love with God is the BEST thing I've ever done in my life. Everything of /inthis world will disappear, the only thing that you can TRUST is that God is and will always BE all that he says He is+

Love y'all,

xoxo

My Love Letter

Dear You,

I have no idea who you are, where you come from, where you've been, or what you've gone through. I have never seen your face, sat in your presence, heard you speak, enjoyed the sound of your laughter, yet I know that you are the answer to one of my most intimate prayers, a silent missing beat in my heart, the ONE I was designed to walk this journey with. You are a pleasant thought that causes me to smile unexpectedly, a desire so powerful that I know that when we do finally meet my heart will beat rapidly. You are a prayer worth developing for, praying for, and most importantly waiting for. You are imperfectly you on a quest to be a living representation of Him.

You are my King.

When I was lost in the world, dead in my sin, alive in my lust and separated from our Father, Christ found me broken, dirty and afraid. Terrified that I was no longer worthy, worthy to someday be called your wife because I believed the LIE "he" whispered to me that I was no longer Daughter of the Most High, precious, holy, set apart, the apple of his eye.

Ashamed I hid.

For awhile I hid lost in the crevices of my mind, a victim to my pity, a prisoner in an open cage, a slave holding the key to my shackles.

I didn't understand the cost of my freedom, the depth of the sacrifice of Christ, the significance and power that lied in his resurrection. Yet through it all HE was patient with me. He loved me through my brokenness, nurtured me through my weakness, guarded me through my falls. In those moments grace and mercy embraced me, in those moments SURRENDER in its truest form became real to me....

CHRIST is my Savior.

I say all of this to make clear that my heart, soul, spirit and mind are no longer mine. They were bought at a HIGH price that could only be paid by Christ. To discover me you must know Him. I write this to you as a notification that my love for you is fueled by my love for Christ, the love that I continue to learn in this season of singleness. There is no compromise when it comes to the foundation of our love, because there is only one ROCK that I stand on. One that I know that you will push me closer to because....

You are my priest

As I patiently wait for you, guarding my heart because from it flows the springs of life (Proverbs 4:23), protecting my body because from it we'll carry the seed of our legacy, becoming a woman worthy of your trust, innovative, hardworking, resourceful, cloth in strength, grace, wisdom, and dignity, (Proverbs 31) a helpmeet in this partnership for the Kingdom know that I am overjoyed!!! for your life. For I was designed to be ONE flesh with you, to guard your heart as your rib, to share stories with you, to create memories with you, to guide little footprints in the sand. To share highs and lows, to be there in sickness and health. I am excited to discover and walk into this beautiful love story with you created by our Abba. Till then I continue to rest in His hand, picturing occasionally the face I've yet to see, the presence I've yet to feel, the laughter I've yet to hear, from the man I am growing to LOVE.

Prayerfully,

Inspired By: "I Will Wait for You" P4CM Janette

Photographed By: Marceline Vilmont www.marcelinev.tumblr.com