I am your Server NOT your Servant!!!

"Hi...Welcome to _____ My name is---" inserts rude interruption: Can I have a coke with two ice cube? 4 slice lemons and a lime? A cup with boiling water?? New utensils? Some salad and breadsticks? And can I place my order now"... *patiently responds as I internally cringe* "Sure I can get all of that for you, by the way my name is Jenny and I have the pleasure of being your server for today"..... I love my job. I say this with a hint of sarcasm because In all honestly I do enjoy what I do because I realize it is preparation for even greater, it's a flexible field, I create my own schedule, I can walk out with my money in my pockets, I interact with hundreds of guest everyday, I am learning the art of effective multitasking and so much more. But there are those days when certain guests or situations  make you want to scream, "I AM YOUR SERVER NOT YOUR SERVANT!!" While proceeding to flips tables on your way out.... That might be a tad bit extreme.... but it feels like that sometimes and I think I made my point.

You may not be blessed to be a server like I am *inserts smile* but you may be in a field, work or school environment where sometimes you may feel abused, overworked, under appreciated and frustrated. You want to scream and rebel and cause absolute mayhem as you make a fabulous exit----and then reality sets in and you realize...ohhh I'm not part of a TV show and I do have real big girl/boy bills to pay that won't go away simply because I rashly decided to have a fabulous exit.

I have been a server for a year and a couple of months now. All though this is not my first "job" I can say its the job where I have dealt with a lot of things and grown the most. I have also discovered some big pet peeves, some great lessons, and an enlightening moment that has led to a deep revelation. Which I am going to share with y'all in that order. Who knew being a server could be so deep and profound.

PET PEEVES 

1. I come to introduce myself and you cut me off OR say nothing at all. I can speak for majority of servers that this is a major no no. Allow us to introduce ourselves so you can know our names instead of calling every available server in the vicinity when you need something or have changed your mind about an order. For the silent folks please don't blank stare. I can't read your mind. 

2. When I am taking care of other guests, you call me out or obnoxiously wave to get my attention. The Golden rule applies here ladies and gents. Do unto others what you would like to be done to you. It is rude to interrupt and disturb someone else experience in that manner.

3. Asking for items sporadically instead of all at once constantly. When I come to your table, you have my undivided attention. There is a pattern and a flow to providing service for 4-5 other tables. You are not aware of what's going on back scene *you shouldn't be* but be conscious enough to realize that you are not that server only guest.

4. Eating or drinking 3/4 of whatever and deciding you didn't like it. Two reasons why this is my pet peeve. One, speak up and let your server know rather than seeking a manager and telling everyone else first but remaining silent otherwise. Two, it doesn't take that much to figure out you don't like something, please don't complain to get out of paying a bill.

5. Don't tip well or at all. Yet you have me run around for everything under the  sun in the restaurant, monopolize my time when it's most convenient for you, complain about things I can't control and get frustrated when I give suggestions in order to help better the problem.....but you leave great reviews/compliments with my manager -_- #epicfail

With discovering these pet peeves I have learned some important life lessons. One thing I have realized on my journey as a lover and disciple of Jesus Christ is that every situation or moment is an opportunity to learn more about Him, my Creator and Savior, and to discover who I am in Him, a queen to be, loving, caring, discipline, honest, hardworking, patient, and all that jazz. I say this not because this is always how I thought but because falling in love with Jesus is radically transforming my life and renewing my mind. I did NOT always Love myself or carry myself in high esteem, I still struggle with faults and insecurities but I have the greatest help, Holy Spirit, guiding me along the way. So thankful!

LIFE LESSONS

1. You will reap what you sow. I have discovered that generally the effort that you put forth is displayed in your tip amount. Do your best and leave no doubts.

2. Attitude is everything. I am known at work to be ridiculous corny and unusually happy. I learned that my joy is not dependent on temperamental humans or situations, it's founded on Christ alone. Attitude is contagious, it has a ripple effect meaning it has the ability to transmit from one person to the next. I've determine that negative energy directed at me will end with me. Choose joy, it's easier and causes less wrinkles. No one wants to work or live in a negative environment so don't contribute to it negatively. Play your part.

3. Teamwork makes the load easier to bear. I am bless to go to a sound Bible-Teaching church where you are taught how to apply the Word to your life, Jubilee Christian Church *shameless plug* and this year theme is Symphony. It's based on 1 Corinthians 12:11-27. This Bible passage speaks about how we all have a part to play, how no one position or gift is greater than another. So become a team player.

4. Work above the standard. It's easy to do the bear minimum and it's sad that it's become the norm. I have learned to work with excellence as if unto The Lord. It is a blessing that I have mobility in my limbs, air in my lungs, energy in my body, blood in my veins, and a job in this economy. I am not always successful but I like to try to work as if God was my supervisor. I am not always successful but it creates a shifts in my perspective.

5. Don't work expecting approval for everything that you do well. I have no expectations coming in to work in regards to my manager or my guests. Sounds weird but I have learned that us humans are unstable emotionally and waiting for approval or a compliment from them is the equivalent of waiting for the sun to cool down. Nothing against anyone but we as humans tend to be wrap up in our own lives and lose track of recognizing good.

6. Do not judge based on appearance. One of my most memorable moments as a waitress/server was serving a table of 3. At first sight the table did not look promising, the guests looked, and acted,  "ghetto". The server who originally was meant to serve them thought the table would be a waste of time and ask me to take them. As I took care if them I notice they were very polite, funny, and a genuinely pleasant table. Their bill all together came out to be $90-95 dollars. After boxing up their food and making sure they were all set I drop off their bill. I truly had no expectations but when I came back to the floor the gentlemen came and handed me the bill and thanked me for taking good care of them especially since the other server switch them out. I wish them a great day and open the bill to add the tip and was touch to see he left a note and $50 tip. You never know who you are in the presence of and how they might impact your life. Serve (in every essence of the word) well. We all have prejudices, learn and recognize yours and conquer them.

7. First and last impression are powerful. The most touching experience I've had so far is serving a married couple. They were older, somber, but nice. When I first introduced myself, all bubbly and whatnot, I notice a change in the woman's face after I said my name...but to be honest I didn't pay much attention. They were a very easy and laid back table and they didn't ask for much. At the end of their experience when I drop the bill the women thank me and shared with me that she and her husband were celebrating the anniversary of their daughters death. They chose to do that by going to all of her favorite places in Boston and wanted to end by eating at her favorite restaurant. I was so moved and then she said "Our daughter name was Jennifer, she went by Jenny and I think it was comforting to be taken care by someone like you, its like God knew we would need it today". Every life you come in contact with has a story. Listen.

I realize that just like some guests take customer service for granted I take God for granted as well and then a deep revelation hit me and in my spirit I heard.

"Daughter I am your GOD, the Creator, your Savior I am NOT your Magician"

Mind Blown. I don't know if you are like me but if I can be completely transparent with you I get into the habit of seeking God when I am in trouble, or need him to change a situation, or to be quickly amazed by something that satisfies my senses. But this is such a cheap replica to what he really wants to give us. He wants us to seek him for his PRESENCE.

In all of my of my pet peeves God spoke to me a loving message.

1. I speak to you everyday and I want to commune with you about everything in your life. But you have to be still and listen. Don't cut me off and cut me out.

2. My relationship with you is personal. Stop comparing and try to do things that is not you to grab my attention. You already have it.

3. I care about EVERYTHING in your life the big and the small, don't hold back anything from me. Tell me all of it. You don't need to run to everyone come to me.

4. You don't have to try anything to discover that it's not OF me and FOR your good. Don't stay in a dead place.

5. Don't speak well of me through words and live opposite of me through actions. Live for me completely.

I hope in all of my babble something spoke to you.

Love y'all,

Peace of Mind: "When Breaking Up is Hard"

"You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you"

Isaiah 26:3 ESV

 Can I share something with you guys? The honest truth is I really didn't want to write this blog. It's been sitting in my drafts for maybe two and a half weeks. I struggled over thinking about what to write and how to write it. I was highly considering just finding a bunch of bible verses about peace and just add my personal take on it all. I felt convicted immediately and I realize that I was refusing to give God the glory that he deserve by not sharing part of my testimony. This would have been extremely generic blog if I didn't remember a little pearl of wisdom. I was once told that not every test, trial we go through is specifically FOR you, God can be preparing you to minister to someone else. This helps to get out of the "me" mentality

 It's amazing how many of us continue to walk in the mindset that our sufferings are ours alone...when in reality everything that we go through is a catalyst to something greater. This discovery of this beauty truth can't happen until we surrender our pride to Christ and put on the garment of humility and servant hood. In my quest to appear wise, I was behaving like a fool. This was apparent because foolishness is the language of the simple but with God and through his word we can gain wisdom and are given the gift of true peace. I've discovered joy but the journey to this place was a bit turbulent, I've embraced peace but that story had a hard beginning.....

I discovered true peace on January 5, 2012 when I decided to truly surrender my heart and life to Christ. I begin to walk and live in it around April-May of that year. Why did it take me 3 months to start enjoying this peace?? Well....my sinful pride/stubbornness definitely had a large part to play and because of a MAN. My EX was my first kiss, love and everything else following that. We were together for 5 years. He was all I knew, he was my comfort zone. This coupled with my rocky relationship with my parent and teenage hormones led to an extreme unhealthy codependent relationship. I didn't go anywhere without him or really tried new things. So you can imagine how horrified I was when the first thing God told me to do through a dream was to break up with him.

The Dream

I was sitting on a bench in an area surrounded by light, crying. This crying was not normal; the tears were gut wrenching, breath taking, and ugly. I felt like my heart was breaking in half and I was hunch over. All of a sudden I felt an overwhelming peaceful presence sit near me and pull my head gently unto his lap. Slowly my cries quieted as he caressed my hair. I heard him say, "Daughter are you sure he is what you want? I will not force my will on you, but if you let him go and trust me I will give you someone/something than you could ever imagined?" My response, "I don't know Daddy, I am scared"  He continued to gently caress my head.

I woke up in tears.

Isn't funny and beyond silly how we try to bargain with God about things he is trying to strip us from, when it's obvious that THING/SOMEONE is steadily killing us? "I can change him"...."He's all I have ever known"....."But God I know He's in my life for a reason----While God the whole time is telling you "Let go Beloved I have something BETTER for you, trust me"

I believed 2 big lies for so long that they became my reality----- like me you may not even recognize that you have been deceived by the enemy and have been living a life based on a lie.

1.  I had to earn/work for God's love.
2. God was this distant entity who only cared about "serious" things therefore could not be concerned about where I went, what I listened to, what I ate, what I wear etc.....
3. 
   
   

After some reflection I realize that two main reasons why I was so against letting this relationship go is lack of faith and lack of understanding of my worth. I didn't believe that GOD, my Creator, The One who knows me better than I could ever know myself, could GIVE me better. At the same time I didn't believe I deserve or could GET anything better. My peace of mind was quickly following my self-esteem and until I begin to learn that I was in COMPLETE in Christ and not in a MAN I would could never be content and at peace with my life. The word of God says in 1 Corinthians 2:9 "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him"------

God loves me and you without us having to DO anything to earn it. His love is perfect and has the power to complete and transform us in such a radical and intimate way that it has no choice but to inspire change in our communities, schools, and homes. His love is consistent, it is patient, and overwhelming. It has the ability to fill those voids left by Fatherlessness, brokenness, abuse, and abandonment, and every other hurt that we have endured while living in this broken and fallen world. 

But we have a part to play.  

A surgeon just finish operating on a patient who was severely slash by a foreign object. The slash was gruesome, it left muscles, bones, and organs exposed. Blood was everywhere. It almost appeared like the patient wouldn't make it through....how could he?? Everyone could see the damage that was done...But the surgeon is skilled, his hands are sure, his dedication steadfast, his attention to detail precise, and his willingness to fight for the patient life strong. Under his care, the patient survives the ordeal and is soon moved to the Intensive Care Unit. All though all stitch up and bandaged, the patient is weak, uncomfortable, and in pain. As he heals the doctor gives him details of the dos and donts for recovery. Now it's up to the patient to CHOOSE to comply and aid in his recovery. 

God is the surgeon! We are that patient left broken and bleeding after a break up or a let down. In his hands you will be able to pull through. In his steady hands that broken heart can be mended, but you have to want the healing for yourself. Just like in the natural what we do during the recovery phase determines how well our wounds heal. How do I do that Jenny?? I want to be healed, but I don't know how to do that....  Well below are just dos and donts I was told by the doctor that has aided me in my recovery phase. 

DON'TS 

1. Do not jump into anything else, especially in the intensity of your emotions. You don't need a temporary fix, you need healing. No void filler can distract you or keep from returning to that place you are trying to leave.

2. Do not torture yourself by reminiscing on the good moments you've had because that's exactly what they were moments. If it was that great you wouldn't be feeling so empty.

3. Do not check social media or stalk. For one that is not healthy whatsoever. It's the equivalent of purposely opening your stitches just to see your blood pour. 

4. Do not bash or sully the name of that individual. At one point they were all that and a bag of chips. At one point they were the "love of your life" and could do no wrong. All though I know you may feel hurt and the breakful was painful I can promise you that demeaning or running someone reputation in the dirt with your words says more about you then it does them.  

DO's

1. Let Go. You can't see beyond or as far as God sees. He knows your purpose, he knows the desires and wants of your heart, he knows YOU. Trust him and take that leap of faith and release what's been stealing your peace of mind and your joy.

* Spend daily time with Him. Journal, read the word, create a playlist that helps you to worship.

2. Forgive yourself. I didn't realize how important this step was until I realize how much I beat myself up over loss time, things that I did, and so much more. God forgives you, and when we repent he doesn't hold it against us.

3. Take Responsibility. It took two. Take responsibility for the part you played.

4. Cut ties as best as you can.  I didn't realize how entangled I was until I had to separate myself. I shared phone line and other things with this man. But I was determine not to fall back to what I was comfortable. Started with social media. I block and cut all ties. I work with my phone company to separate as best as possible. I return what was his on one go. If you know what's yours make a list. Continuous back and forth is a no no. Don't lie to yourself, you don't need that scarf.

5. Guard those gates. Watch who you hang around, the little wisdom "birds of a feather, flock together" is a true statement. Broken, angry attitudes are contagious. Watch you listen, read, watch. They all plant seeds, cool off on Chris Brown, Mary J. Blige, Boys II Men, Scandal for a bit.

6. Get Accountability. Point blank, seek overcomer and you will learn to overcome.

7. Discover who you are with God. HE is so adventurous and he wants to teach you all about Him and yourself. Make Time to spend with him on a regular basis.

Love y'all,

 Gotta Find Peace of Mind- Lauryn Hill

Celebrating 2 years of Purity!!