Honeymoon High

I catch myself lately daydreaming about my wedding day. Imagining how I would feel surrounded by my girlfriends on the day, laughing and giggling in happiness, picturing that moment when they help me in my dress. I even go as far as visualizing the walk down the aisle, the feeling of butterflies taking flight in my heart and spirit as I look at my groom waiting for me. Whew

The part that usually has me shaking back to reality in order to stop myself from awakening things that don't need to be awaken (Let's be real #CelibacyStruggle) is the HONEYMOON. The moment I start thinking of the nervousness anticipation of that night I realize that my thoughts are going too far and I have to reel it back in. When I seize control of those thoughts I had a "Light-Bulb" moment when I realize I have visualized more about the wedding and honeymoon, then the actual MARRIAGE.

Then God drop on my Spirit.

"I've lost many brides lost in a honeymoon high not ready to give our marriage the work and effort it needs to survive" 

Wow. Did I get lost in a Honeymoon High? Have I lost the desire to put in work for my marriage with Christ in my quest to feel like I did when I first encountered Him. It simply amazes me when God speaks to me something so profound in such a simple and imaginative way. He is so aware of how to communicate to us in a way that we can understand if we choose to listen. So what is a Honeymoon High? I guess the best way to visualize it spiritually is to break down the idea naturally. All though I have never been married it's not too difficult for me to picture what a honeymoon might feel like.

The Honeymoon 

1. Very intimate

- You are becoming aware of someone else in every way. Its the act of of becoming ONE

2. Outside the realm of reality

- Everything appears to be perfect, very picturesque, nothing is wrong

3. Bubble-Protected 

- In a sense you feel as if it's us against the world.

4. Filled with Highs and non-existent Lows

- From the emotions, passion, desire there seems to be a cascading waterfalls of feelings

When we encounter Christ we fall into a honeymoon high. It is LOVE. For me I felt like I experience and saw God in everything. From the sunrise, through rainfall, in the way the wind blew across my face, in music, movies I felt like everything just spoke of God's love for me. That encounter is intimate, it's usually when we first feel the most vulnerable and exposed, very much like a honeymoon night for a couple who is experiencing each other for the very first time. 

After that encounter I was in a fantasy world where nothing could go wrong. I had yet to go through any trials, tribulation, or temptations that gave me roots in Christ but you honestly couldn't tell me anything. I had yet to hear the word "no" from God or "not yet". I had no idea that I would go through some things that would shake me and cause me to wonder, "Gosh God is this really worth it?" My world with Christ was very much a bubble, I spent hours reading my word alone in my room, I didn't want to deal with people because for the most part human beings got on my nerves *can I just be real*  and at this stage I didn't need anyone but God on my island. 

All though I wouldn't trade that time for anything in this world, I realize looking back now that it was very emotionally led. I believe God was with me because I felt him. Let me be clear in saying; I do believe that having a HONEYMOON season in Christ is part of the process of growing in Christ. The problem comes up when you are shock, surprise, upset when the honeymoon ends and the marriage begins. 

So many of us are shock when hard times begin to show up in our relationship with Christ. When friends who used to be there fall away, when people start to complain and talk about how different you now are, when family just don't understand your relationship, or when you have to let go or sacrifice things/people who are pulling us away from Christ. We are unprepared for the daily death of our flesh in a world that tells us "if it doesn't make us feel happy let it go". So many of us now are spiritually separated or divorce from Christ because we weren't ready to commit to our marriage. We have so many leaving the protection of true love in search of something that feels good but is destroying us in the process.

A good marriage takes work. Point Blank. The Bible says that we are the Bride of Christ, which means we are married to him. I just started to understand this concept and I realize that a lot of things I do in my spiritual marriage with Christ I wouldn't in my right mind want to do in an earthly marriage.

"Imagine waking up next to your husband, you feel his presence and he gently reaches out to you but you quickly move away to brush your teeth, wash your face grabbing your phone in the process. Slowly but surely emails and calls from work & other people start popping up and you rush past your husband in an attempt to get dress. Failing to see his desire to embrace you, never realizing you have yet to say good morning. In your hurry you decide to skip breakfast and shout over your shoulder a quick "I love you" as you get in the car. When he tries to talk to you about the lack of time you guys spend together, you get defensive. When he attempts to participate in activities with you, you see Him as overbearing. Slowly but surely you pull away until another man starts to grab your attention. He makes you feel inhibited, fun, daring and you confide in him instead of your husband........

Eventually if this continues a strain on the marriage will occur. Eventually a separation will happen where your heart becomes lost in the world. If you don't feel close the honest truth is it's your feelings and not the truth. Feelings are deceiving and flimsy. If you are not feeling your relationship with Christ right now realize that your feelings will continue as long as you allow it. He hasn't moved away from this relationship, you have. He love you sooooo sooo much and wants to work it out with you. 

Don't be so lost in the honeymoon high that you fail to allow God to show you how awesome and so much sweeter a lifetime love that has endured a few tests and trials is. Fight for this relationship, guard those gates, treat it as the marriage that it is, talk to him, pass those tests, and tell those feelings to bow down.  If you haven't encountered Christ, check out my first blog  . 

He is the best LOVE story I've ever experience Beloved, Whisper to a Lonely Heart. Love y'all

Beloved Rise,

   (One of my beautiful PP Sisters and I at Jonathan McReynolds concert)

I am your Server NOT your Servant!!!

"Hi...Welcome to _____ My name is---" inserts rude interruption: Can I have a coke with two ice cube? 4 slice lemons and a lime? A cup with boiling water?? New utensils? Some salad and breadsticks? And can I place my order now"... *patiently responds as I internally cringe* "Sure I can get all of that for you, by the way my name is Jenny and I have the pleasure of being your server for today"..... I love my job. I say this with a hint of sarcasm because In all honestly I do enjoy what I do because I realize it is preparation for even greater, it's a flexible field, I create my own schedule, I can walk out with my money in my pockets, I interact with hundreds of guest everyday, I am learning the art of effective multitasking and so much more. But there are those days when certain guests or situations  make you want to scream, "I AM YOUR SERVER NOT YOUR SERVANT!!" While proceeding to flips tables on your way out.... That might be a tad bit extreme.... but it feels like that sometimes and I think I made my point.

You may not be blessed to be a server like I am *inserts smile* but you may be in a field, work or school environment where sometimes you may feel abused, overworked, under appreciated and frustrated. You want to scream and rebel and cause absolute mayhem as you make a fabulous exit----and then reality sets in and you realize...ohhh I'm not part of a TV show and I do have real big girl/boy bills to pay that won't go away simply because I rashly decided to have a fabulous exit.

I have been a server for a year and a couple of months now. All though this is not my first "job" I can say its the job where I have dealt with a lot of things and grown the most. I have also discovered some big pet peeves, some great lessons, and an enlightening moment that has led to a deep revelation. Which I am going to share with y'all in that order. Who knew being a server could be so deep and profound.

PET PEEVES 

1. I come to introduce myself and you cut me off OR say nothing at all. I can speak for majority of servers that this is a major no no. Allow us to introduce ourselves so you can know our names instead of calling every available server in the vicinity when you need something or have changed your mind about an order. For the silent folks please don't blank stare. I can't read your mind. 

2. When I am taking care of other guests, you call me out or obnoxiously wave to get my attention. The Golden rule applies here ladies and gents. Do unto others what you would like to be done to you. It is rude to interrupt and disturb someone else experience in that manner.

3. Asking for items sporadically instead of all at once constantly. When I come to your table, you have my undivided attention. There is a pattern and a flow to providing service for 4-5 other tables. You are not aware of what's going on back scene *you shouldn't be* but be conscious enough to realize that you are not that server only guest.

4. Eating or drinking 3/4 of whatever and deciding you didn't like it. Two reasons why this is my pet peeve. One, speak up and let your server know rather than seeking a manager and telling everyone else first but remaining silent otherwise. Two, it doesn't take that much to figure out you don't like something, please don't complain to get out of paying a bill.

5. Don't tip well or at all. Yet you have me run around for everything under the  sun in the restaurant, monopolize my time when it's most convenient for you, complain about things I can't control and get frustrated when I give suggestions in order to help better the problem.....but you leave great reviews/compliments with my manager -_- #epicfail

With discovering these pet peeves I have learned some important life lessons. One thing I have realized on my journey as a lover and disciple of Jesus Christ is that every situation or moment is an opportunity to learn more about Him, my Creator and Savior, and to discover who I am in Him, a queen to be, loving, caring, discipline, honest, hardworking, patient, and all that jazz. I say this not because this is always how I thought but because falling in love with Jesus is radically transforming my life and renewing my mind. I did NOT always Love myself or carry myself in high esteem, I still struggle with faults and insecurities but I have the greatest help, Holy Spirit, guiding me along the way. So thankful!

LIFE LESSONS

1. You will reap what you sow. I have discovered that generally the effort that you put forth is displayed in your tip amount. Do your best and leave no doubts.

2. Attitude is everything. I am known at work to be ridiculous corny and unusually happy. I learned that my joy is not dependent on temperamental humans or situations, it's founded on Christ alone. Attitude is contagious, it has a ripple effect meaning it has the ability to transmit from one person to the next. I've determine that negative energy directed at me will end with me. Choose joy, it's easier and causes less wrinkles. No one wants to work or live in a negative environment so don't contribute to it negatively. Play your part.

3. Teamwork makes the load easier to bear. I am bless to go to a sound Bible-Teaching church where you are taught how to apply the Word to your life, Jubilee Christian Church *shameless plug* and this year theme is Symphony. It's based on 1 Corinthians 12:11-27. This Bible passage speaks about how we all have a part to play, how no one position or gift is greater than another. So become a team player.

4. Work above the standard. It's easy to do the bear minimum and it's sad that it's become the norm. I have learned to work with excellence as if unto The Lord. It is a blessing that I have mobility in my limbs, air in my lungs, energy in my body, blood in my veins, and a job in this economy. I am not always successful but I like to try to work as if God was my supervisor. I am not always successful but it creates a shifts in my perspective.

5. Don't work expecting approval for everything that you do well. I have no expectations coming in to work in regards to my manager or my guests. Sounds weird but I have learned that us humans are unstable emotionally and waiting for approval or a compliment from them is the equivalent of waiting for the sun to cool down. Nothing against anyone but we as humans tend to be wrap up in our own lives and lose track of recognizing good.

6. Do not judge based on appearance. One of my most memorable moments as a waitress/server was serving a table of 3. At first sight the table did not look promising, the guests looked, and acted,  "ghetto". The server who originally was meant to serve them thought the table would be a waste of time and ask me to take them. As I took care if them I notice they were very polite, funny, and a genuinely pleasant table. Their bill all together came out to be $90-95 dollars. After boxing up their food and making sure they were all set I drop off their bill. I truly had no expectations but when I came back to the floor the gentlemen came and handed me the bill and thanked me for taking good care of them especially since the other server switch them out. I wish them a great day and open the bill to add the tip and was touch to see he left a note and $50 tip. You never know who you are in the presence of and how they might impact your life. Serve (in every essence of the word) well. We all have prejudices, learn and recognize yours and conquer them.

7. First and last impression are powerful. The most touching experience I've had so far is serving a married couple. They were older, somber, but nice. When I first introduced myself, all bubbly and whatnot, I notice a change in the woman's face after I said my name...but to be honest I didn't pay much attention. They were a very easy and laid back table and they didn't ask for much. At the end of their experience when I drop the bill the women thank me and shared with me that she and her husband were celebrating the anniversary of their daughters death. They chose to do that by going to all of her favorite places in Boston and wanted to end by eating at her favorite restaurant. I was so moved and then she said "Our daughter name was Jennifer, she went by Jenny and I think it was comforting to be taken care by someone like you, its like God knew we would need it today". Every life you come in contact with has a story. Listen.

I realize that just like some guests take customer service for granted I take God for granted as well and then a deep revelation hit me and in my spirit I heard.

"Daughter I am your GOD, the Creator, your Savior I am NOT your Magician"

Mind Blown. I don't know if you are like me but if I can be completely transparent with you I get into the habit of seeking God when I am in trouble, or need him to change a situation, or to be quickly amazed by something that satisfies my senses. But this is such a cheap replica to what he really wants to give us. He wants us to seek him for his PRESENCE.

In all of my of my pet peeves God spoke to me a loving message.

1. I speak to you everyday and I want to commune with you about everything in your life. But you have to be still and listen. Don't cut me off and cut me out.

2. My relationship with you is personal. Stop comparing and try to do things that is not you to grab my attention. You already have it.

3. I care about EVERYTHING in your life the big and the small, don't hold back anything from me. Tell me all of it. You don't need to run to everyone come to me.

4. You don't have to try anything to discover that it's not OF me and FOR your good. Don't stay in a dead place.

5. Don't speak well of me through words and live opposite of me through actions. Live for me completely.

I hope in all of my babble something spoke to you.

Love y'all,