Forbidden Doors; Overcoming Desires

Late at night when my flesh whispers to me and my thoughts slithers near forbidden doors 

You are there clothing me with your power, Grace, and mercy

When the voices of the world seem to sing me a lullaby of my past...

You remind me of my current gift and the future that you are preparing for me

When I yearn to hear a deep voice woo my loneliness 

You remind me that quiet still voice is the only real comfort I need, there is nothing temporary about you.

When I feel like I can't overcome by the waves of these fleshy desires

You remind that the flesh was stripped from your back and pierced to a cross so I could have access to that overcoming freedom

Your I am is true because truth is the very fiber of your being, the foundation where love flows from...

So as honest as my feelings may seem during the darkest moments in the sky

I am choosing to rest on the Son that shines and lights on all hidden places in my life.

Only you have seen all of my secret thoughts and hidden places and deep hurts...and love me the same.

So tonight as my flesh pines for what was

I surrender and marvel at a love that is and will always be.

Thank you for loving me Jesus.

I remember about 2 years ago I was in a place where I was mad at God, I was in a place where I couldn't deny who he was in my life but at the same time I wanted to rebel and push away because things weren't going my way and the pruning stage of my growth occurring.

 I was lonely, and I was missing being intimate with a man. I was no longer in the honeymoon stages with God, I was in the marriage phase where we had to work some things out... That didn't sit too well because I thought "God if I am not feeling my relationship with you then you are not really there for me, what about my needs God? Why am I going through these things?" You see relationship with God takes commitment, it takes active effort on our part to draw close and truly be married to him.

 At that time I had the number of someone who I entertained and temporarily used to fill that God size void in my heart. You see I didn't really see a future with this person but he was a desired distraction from my present. He was that person I called knowing that he would pick up no matter what... Pause can we be real about this..y'all know we all have that saved number that we should have deleted a LOONNNGGG time ago. That person was mine. 

Looking back at this place now I cringe and at the same time smile because I realize two things. The first, I was extremely selfish and manipulative in that season behaving like a Jezebel. I wanted God my way or not at all and if he wasn't going to move at the speed that I wanted Him too I would help him along, silly right?? That Jezebel spirit is no joke. The second thing I realize was that even when I was intentionally seeking to be disobedient God was still pursuing me relentlessly, providing me with opportunities/ moments to obey him. Beloved the same saving Grace that picks us up when we fall, if we look back also will provide us escape routes to protect us and propel us to a deeper maturity. It gives us the power to say no to sin and yes to God.

I didn't know then that God had already equipped me with the power and ability to pass those tests with my flesh but I had to choose to access that power. Beloved God has given us all the power we need to overcome these strongholds in our lives we just now have to learn how to tap into that power.

How do we access that power?

1. Be honest with God. God isn't afraid or surprise by your feelings. In fact he would much rather you express it and share it with him then run around and tell everyone and their mamma. That love letter in the beginning of this blog was a journal entry I had at 2-3 o'clock in the morning. I chose to be honest to God about where I was, my desires, I chose to be unashamed like David. 
2. Stop Lying to Yourself. Before we can tap into that power that is trap in you, you have to stop lying to yourself. Stop pretending that everything is OK..it's not..you are in a battle and you are taking critical hits, a good amount of it from your own gun.
3. Put on the full Armor of God. One of my favorite Pastor/teacher is Dr. Tony Evans, he just has the ability to present the word of God in a way that blows your mind and can make sense to even the smallest child. It would be an injustice for me to try to explain what I have learn from this so I attach the video below. Watch it, take notes =)
4. Stand Firm and Have faith. Beloved you are a new creation in Christ, when God freed you from sin he freed you from all sin. You have to believe in that truth, you have to stand firm in it. Then you have to work out your salvation in that truth.  

My prayer today is that you will stop allowing your feelings to lead you to forbidden doors. My prayer today is that what you have been wrestling with for so long you place it before the throne of God and not the audience of men.

Beloved Rise, 

A Heart Like Hosea

I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. Hosea 2:19

For awhile I have been praying, "God give me a heart like Hosea, a heart that breaks after what breaks your heart, a heart that desires to reach out to the lost of this world". Today I realized what it means to pray that prayer. I don't know if I am just extremely sensitive to the Holy Spirit due to my experience during the Pinky Promise Conference 2015 which I will blog about later, but today I felt my heart break. It hurts so much Beloved that all I can do is shed tears and implore our Heavenly Abba to grant us mercy.

These past few months our world has been riddled with violence, pain, hatred, and so much evilness. I nearly became immune to it, it slowly became an expectation to hear about something horrible happening in the news, I was no longer surprise, I was no longer affected. This past week was a prime example of evilness gaining strength in our nation. On June 17 around 8 pm in Charleston, South Carolina a young man, Dylann Roof, opened fire in a church Bible Study killing 9 people. This was a hate crime. This young white man went in to this predominantly African American church to kill the people there because they looked different from him. His actions disturbed me, his hate angered me but what broke me was the victims families response to him.  They responded in love, a love that could only come from Jesus Christ. I was floored.. Loving/ forgiving is easy until you have something that you truly have to love someone through and forgive someone for. This family had every reason to respond in anger, in their emotions, with their hate, in fact it was expected...but when they responded differently it showed that love has the power to overcome any evil/hate. That's when you realize that you can't love completely out of your own strength, you need the supernatural grace of God. For He IS love. 

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. ~1 John 4:18

Today this love is under attack. It is being challenged and is being redefined by man. The part that hurts is that the Body of Christ is allowing it by our actions and convictions. My focus today is not even about the law that was passed that has now made Same-sex marriage legal in the United States. That isn't my focus because I trust Gods word, for his word is eternal and everything else is temporary. My focus is on the response of the body of Christ. We are divided church and confused and I just don't get it. The Word says that a house divided can not stand. We hesitate and walk in fear while knowing the truth. We sugarcoat and tone down the Gospel that has the ability to save and transform because we fear persecution. We hold our testimonies and are unprepared to provide a reason for our hope which is Jesus Christ. We need to stand on the truth of God and not our opinions of it. His word is clear.

We are posting statements of "God is love, and it's not my place to judge.... while failing to mention that He is also Holy, righteous and we are called to be doers of the word, to submit ourselves therefore to God to resist the devil". 

What happen to our conviction Church?? 

For whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. (James 4:16).  

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12).

We are called to live as people who are free, not using our freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. (1 Peter 2:16)

We have Blood on our Hands.

I pray you hear my heart in this blog. Today I realize and literally felt this prayer in every part of me. My heart is breaking for this world and I can not contain my tears. So much so that I had to ask God for forgiveness. Forgiveness for focusing on earthly things like my career, my single status, my emotions, fear, guilt, shame about my past, need for money and car etc.. When he's been trying to get me in a place where I could be empty to be used by Him to minister to his people. Beloved do you feel it? Do you feel the breaking of Gods heart for this world?? Do you feel his yearning for these lost souls?? Or are you so focus on self like I was. So focus on what you need from God that you have turn deaf ears to His heart desire, so focus on your inadequacy that you forgot that God can use those very things your hiding to save someone soul. Is your comfort zone worth someone very soul and eternity?? Beloved we need to repent of our selfish ways and seriously pray for the Holy Spirit to wreck our hearts. I want to have a heart and life that yearns after the things of God. I want a heart like Hosea.

What does a heart like that look like?? I guess we have to first figure out who this Hosea was. Why was his story so powerful? Let's explore it together. 

Hosea was a minor prophet who lived during the final days of the Northern Kingdom. Hosea had such a heart for God that God chose to use his family life as a symbol to represent His constant love, grace, mercy for an unfaithful nation, the Israelites. God ordered Hosea to marry Gomer, an adulterous/unfaithful women knowing full well she will step out on him. The crazy part is that all though his heart is constantly broken by her unfaithfulness, God orders him to continuously love her, to take her back and care for her. Hosea love for Gomer is a representation of Gods covenant love for the unfaithful Israelites. 

Heart like Hosea Is:

1. Obedient- To marry a woman during that period of time with a reputation for being loose was to be an open target for ridicule. Can you imagine being a prophet telling people that God will punish the people for their unfaithfulness and hearing someone make a jab about your wife?? But Hosea didn't care what men thought of Him, he cared about what God has to say...and when he spoke he listen.

2. Sensitive to Gods voice- In today's generation we are sensitive to everyone and everything but God. We waver and flow from whichever opinions sounds the best to our ears. One of the biggest complaint that I hear is, "Well, how do I know that it's God and not me or the enemy??" You can only know someone you spend time with. You can only recognize the voice of someone you constantly listen to. There are too many people who have opinions about God yet don't KNOW Him.

3. Relentless in its Convictions- Hosea wasn't afraid to stand alone. Even if the attack came from home, from his peers he did not compromise his convictions to fit in. Even when everyone else was living for the world, he had determined in his heart that he would live and speak for God. We need that conviction again y'all.

4. Broken for what breaks God's heart. God loves people. He desires so much for them to come into his rest. He desires for them to be whole. He desires for them to come into the knowledge of Him. He desires for the least to be taken care of. He desires having fellowship with us. He desires for us to be able to approach his throne with reverence, adoration. He desires for no one to perish but for all to be saved through a relationship with his son Jesus Christ. Do you desire to see people saved? Set free? Delivered? Living boldly and completely in Him? You can answer yes to all those that's great! My follow up questions to that are when was the last time you shared Christ with someone? Do you live in the freedom that Christ died to give you or are you justifying sin in your life?

5. Filled with Unconditional love-  One of the parts that brings me to tears is when Hosea redeems his wife. Hosea buys back his wife from slavery for way more than she was worth because God called him to love her. To have a heart like Hosea we need to love the unlovable, to forgive the unforgivable unconditionally. We should treat people with more love, respect, honor than they deserve because Christ gave us more that we could ever hope for on that cross. He gave us a chance to be reconciled with our Heavenly Abba. 

Let's stop focusing on us Beloveds. Let's truly be free! Walk in obedience so you can lead someone to Christ. Resist the devil. Die daily to your flesh. Seek God! Let's live this life for real for real! Pray, Pray, Pray. It's time we took our place. Let's agree in prayer today. 

Beloved Rise,

Honeymoon High

I catch myself lately daydreaming about my wedding day. Imagining how I would feel surrounded by my girlfriends on the day, laughing and giggling in happiness, picturing that moment when they help me in my dress. I even go as far as visualizing the walk down the aisle, the feeling of butterflies taking flight in my heart and spirit as I look at my groom waiting for me. Whew

The part that usually has me shaking back to reality in order to stop myself from awakening things that don't need to be awaken (Let's be real #CelibacyStruggle) is the HONEYMOON. The moment I start thinking of the nervousness anticipation of that night I realize that my thoughts are going too far and I have to reel it back in. When I seize control of those thoughts I had a "Light-Bulb" moment when I realize I have visualized more about the wedding and honeymoon, then the actual MARRIAGE.

Then God drop on my Spirit.

"I've lost many brides lost in a honeymoon high not ready to give our marriage the work and effort it needs to survive" 

Wow. Did I get lost in a Honeymoon High? Have I lost the desire to put in work for my marriage with Christ in my quest to feel like I did when I first encountered Him. It simply amazes me when God speaks to me something so profound in such a simple and imaginative way. He is so aware of how to communicate to us in a way that we can understand if we choose to listen. So what is a Honeymoon High? I guess the best way to visualize it spiritually is to break down the idea naturally. All though I have never been married it's not too difficult for me to picture what a honeymoon might feel like.

The Honeymoon 

1. Very intimate

- You are becoming aware of someone else in every way. Its the act of of becoming ONE

2. Outside the realm of reality

- Everything appears to be perfect, very picturesque, nothing is wrong

3. Bubble-Protected 

- In a sense you feel as if it's us against the world.

4. Filled with Highs and non-existent Lows

- From the emotions, passion, desire there seems to be a cascading waterfalls of feelings

When we encounter Christ we fall into a honeymoon high. It is LOVE. For me I felt like I experience and saw God in everything. From the sunrise, through rainfall, in the way the wind blew across my face, in music, movies I felt like everything just spoke of God's love for me. That encounter is intimate, it's usually when we first feel the most vulnerable and exposed, very much like a honeymoon night for a couple who is experiencing each other for the very first time. 

After that encounter I was in a fantasy world where nothing could go wrong. I had yet to go through any trials, tribulation, or temptations that gave me roots in Christ but you honestly couldn't tell me anything. I had yet to hear the word "no" from God or "not yet". I had no idea that I would go through some things that would shake me and cause me to wonder, "Gosh God is this really worth it?" My world with Christ was very much a bubble, I spent hours reading my word alone in my room, I didn't want to deal with people because for the most part human beings got on my nerves *can I just be real*  and at this stage I didn't need anyone but God on my island. 

All though I wouldn't trade that time for anything in this world, I realize looking back now that it was very emotionally led. I believe God was with me because I felt him. Let me be clear in saying; I do believe that having a HONEYMOON season in Christ is part of the process of growing in Christ. The problem comes up when you are shock, surprise, upset when the honeymoon ends and the marriage begins. 

So many of us are shock when hard times begin to show up in our relationship with Christ. When friends who used to be there fall away, when people start to complain and talk about how different you now are, when family just don't understand your relationship, or when you have to let go or sacrifice things/people who are pulling us away from Christ. We are unprepared for the daily death of our flesh in a world that tells us "if it doesn't make us feel happy let it go". So many of us now are spiritually separated or divorce from Christ because we weren't ready to commit to our marriage. We have so many leaving the protection of true love in search of something that feels good but is destroying us in the process.

A good marriage takes work. Point Blank. The Bible says that we are the Bride of Christ, which means we are married to him. I just started to understand this concept and I realize that a lot of things I do in my spiritual marriage with Christ I wouldn't in my right mind want to do in an earthly marriage.

"Imagine waking up next to your husband, you feel his presence and he gently reaches out to you but you quickly move away to brush your teeth, wash your face grabbing your phone in the process. Slowly but surely emails and calls from work & other people start popping up and you rush past your husband in an attempt to get dress. Failing to see his desire to embrace you, never realizing you have yet to say good morning. In your hurry you decide to skip breakfast and shout over your shoulder a quick "I love you" as you get in the car. When he tries to talk to you about the lack of time you guys spend together, you get defensive. When he attempts to participate in activities with you, you see Him as overbearing. Slowly but surely you pull away until another man starts to grab your attention. He makes you feel inhibited, fun, daring and you confide in him instead of your husband........

Eventually if this continues a strain on the marriage will occur. Eventually a separation will happen where your heart becomes lost in the world. If you don't feel close the honest truth is it's your feelings and not the truth. Feelings are deceiving and flimsy. If you are not feeling your relationship with Christ right now realize that your feelings will continue as long as you allow it. He hasn't moved away from this relationship, you have. He love you sooooo sooo much and wants to work it out with you. 

Don't be so lost in the honeymoon high that you fail to allow God to show you how awesome and so much sweeter a lifetime love that has endured a few tests and trials is. Fight for this relationship, guard those gates, treat it as the marriage that it is, talk to him, pass those tests, and tell those feelings to bow down.  If you haven't encountered Christ, check out my first blog  . 

He is the best LOVE story I've ever experience Beloved, Whisper to a Lonely Heart. Love y'all

Beloved Rise,

   (One of my beautiful PP Sisters and I at Jonathan McReynolds concert)

Love Dare: Challenge Accepted

I can not believe that it's already February!! For those of you who don't know this month is my BIRTHDAY month!! *does Happy Dance* and this year I am becoming 23 years wiser! I am that person that celebrates life everyday so I don't consider my birthday (February, 16th) to be a day of celebration because I start the party starts on the 1st and doesn't stop until March 1st =). I begin to think, what exactly should I do to celebrate my birthday?? Should I go out and dance the night away? Should I travel? Should I throw a big party? Should I do something spontaneously dangerous?......And then I hear deep in my spirit, a quiet still voice

"You should love"

"Well, I thought I did that?" I whispered back. Can I be honest with y'all I felt some type of way when this was place in my spirit. My God must have known that I wasn't receiving this message well because towards the end of the month of January I discovered a song. This song was so profound that not only did it inspire this love dare but it inspired me to make loving hard everyday a mission. The song "As Long as I'm Here" by Brandon Heath says....

Some day I'll pass through the great sky above
And the first thing I'll ask is how well did I love
Did I leave the world any better than it was before?
Of all the things I've done, could I have done any more?

How well did you Love? When it's your time to leave this world no one is going to list the amount of degrees you held or the businesses you started.... they are going to reflect on the memories you shared and the impact and legacy you left behind. The question is not going to be how well did you live but how impactful was your love in a world that is in desperate need of it.

So for my birthday month and as long it takes to make love a habit in your life, I am inviting you to a LOVE DARE. This is inspired by the movie "Fireproof" which I highly recommend you to watch. This movie is on Netflix .

For married folks: You guys can follow this dare to the T. This Dare was tailored specifically for YOU. If you are married and you decide to embark on this challenge, I challenge you to be silent. Allow your actions to speak, go through all 40 days of this challenge, journal and pour out the good and bad during your quiet time.

For Single Folks: I am a bold, radical believer in Jesus Christ. I believe in the teachings of the Bible, which means that I try to live my life with IT as my standard. I believe that marriage is a beautiful representation of the relationship between Christ and the Church, therefore it's a holy covenant that should be between a man and a woman. Until a man has paid the price for you known as marriage, he should not be getting husband benefits which means as a fellow sister of mine stated beautifully "NO WED, NO BED". So many of us are deceived into thinking that singleness is a curse. That is so far from the truth! We as singles are in a privilege position where we get to mature and work on different love relationships in our lives. We get to strengthen these support systems and create a network of accountability that will help you in seasons to come. Don't run away from the blessings and lessons of singleness because society is trying to tell you are incomplete. The fact of the matter is there are way to many INCOMPLETE individuals in "complete" relationships. So the LOVE DARE challenge for you is to seek out a family member who is estranged, that difficult sibling or parent, a friend, someone younger than you that you can pour love to. Tailor the dare to that relationship. To be honest there is not much change that needs to be done. Using it as an excuse just allows you to continue living in less than satisfying relationships.

It starts with YOU

Part of the challenge is to truly reflect on the changes you are seeing and the things you are feeling day to day. Use this challenge to go deeper in your quiet time. Jenny What's this Quiet Time you keep referring to? How do I go about doing it? I truly believe that when someone explains something better than you, don't try to beat a dead horse by trying to explain better. Humble yourself and use that person as a resource. I am blessed to be part of an amazing movement known as Pinky Promise. Founded by Heather Lindsey this movement inspires women to truly love and live this Christian life, by challenging singles to live a life of purity while single in a world that pushes the opposite and for the married women living a life of purity as keeper of her home (whatever that means to you and your husband according to your relationship and the Bible) and learning the true meaning and beauty of submission. She has an amazing blog which she talks about several topics one being quiet time. Check it out here: "How to Spend Time with God" by Heather Lindsey 

LOVE DARE RULES

1. Start on Day 1 and end with Day 40. The challenge builds on itself don't cheat yourself out by trying to skip around.
2. Give it your all. You don't want to wonder at the end of this "Could I have done more?"
3. Do it in secret. I love the book of Matthew starting from chapter 5 to chapter 6. Take time to read and reflect before jumping into this challenge. One of my favorite part of the teaching is Matthew 6:1 "Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven"
4. Journal. Reflect and speak to God
5. Don't give up. Before it gets better it can sometimes get worse. True test of love is not loving someone who is lovable but someone that is difficult to love. Those are the people who need it the most.
6. Pass it on. Don't keep this challenge to yourself, all though the person that you decide to have as the receiving end of this challenge should be kept in the dark =) Someone else may need a challenge.
7. Print this. Love Dare
8. Officially starting on February 14th.

 The second greatest commandment given to us by JESUS is to LOVE. The Bible says that "They will know us by our love" not by our awesome knowledge of scripture and theology but how we live this thing out.

Love y'all,

"Help I've Fallen and Can't Get Up"

Pregnancy. A powerful time where the intimacy, energy of two people meet and spark life. In one moment planned or not, life begins, an essence begins its journey to being a complete independent being. Cells gather and unite and become tissues, tissues into organs, organs into a system, slowly, consistently pieces stitch together to create a being not like any other in this world. A unique masterpiece, woven together by the Creator. Isn't it amazing?? Simply awe-aspiring to think of how we all came to be from something as small as a peanut. For me pregnancy is one of the most beautiful testimonies of God's power and love for us. Not one of us is the same genetically, we are all made different and special. What love!!

Birth. I would say that it's our first, real traumatic experience in life and our first deep covenant. I think that it's a gift from God that we don't remember that journey, but those moments I believe from labor to delivery are prophetic. When a woman's body is prepared to bring forth life, typically her water breaks. She recognizes the beginning stages when pain starts and all waters break loose (pun intended---=D). As many books as she may have read, nothing can really prepare her for this, nothing can prepare you for that moment when your life changes. Pain---consistent, increasing, piercing, yet purposeful occurs because from it a beautiful being is going to come to be so you endure, and push through (Literally....)

Then after one exhaustive push, there is a release, a quiet stillness, and then..... a cry. In that moment, through blood, a covenant is made. If you have had the blessing of being born to a loving mother/parents, Praise God!! You formed a covenant with someone who has made it their life mission to protect, care, nurture, and love you. No matter the argument, problem, situation remember that. If you are adopted that covenant still stands but that day you were not only borne from a woman's body but a mother's prayer. That is a gift. If you lost your mother, I am so so sorry for your loss, but I want to let you know that you were never left alone. God had charge angels to be with you every step of the way, but most importantly HE never left or forsake you. Through it all He was always there.

Let's fast forward a couple of months. This baby who was once an essence, formed by God in its mother's womb is active, curious, confident in its parent's love, and daring in their exploration of the world. After experimenting with rolling over, bouncing in place, crawling at the speed of light, he feels the urge to stand. Slowly, tentatively he reaches for support and grabs hold of one of the steadiest thing that he can place his hands on and pulls himself up. After a couple try of this standing up adventure, he gets bold enough to let go and very quickly plops back down on the surface. As weeks and months go by so does the length of unassisted stands.

One day there comes the courage and desire to take a couple of steps. After the tentative first one, to the absolute glee of your doting parents, there is a second and third and maybe even a fourth and then all of a sudden you lose your balance and fall HARD. That fall was a surprise and it hurt. You cry and scream, begging to be comforted by a loving hand. You reach out to someone and quickly you are brought close and comforted and reassured that everything will be all right.

After being comforted you remember the feeling of standing on your own. All though it hurt the first couple of times, you keep getting up and trying again, and again, and again, until FINALLY!!! you have a consistent walk.

This is for me a beautiful illustration of our Christian walk with our Heavenly Father.

From the beginning God knew YOU. The Bible says in Psalm 139:13-16 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Isn't that beautiful and so moving to know that before you took your first breath of life on this Earth, before your mother or father knew of your very existence, GOD LOVED YOU. Not only that he was planning a life for you, a beautiful one and you had to do nothing to earn it. You've probably heard of the verse, Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope".

v  So no matter what season you are in, single, waiting for a specific prayer consider that you are being prepared, molded, knitted together. Be encouraged, allow God to not only wreck your heart but mend it as well. Be still let God BE God. Surrender.

 When you came to the Kingdom, all of Heaven rejoiced. Angels danced and sang. Our Heavenly Father smiled and said welcome home. For me that moment was almost two years ago!! I thought FINALLY!! I have arrived, my eyes are now open then.........reality hit and I realized that figuratively my water was finally broken, the hard work, struggle, crying, screaming, and pushing aspect had began. The Bible says in Romans 5: 2-4 "Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us" I don't know where I got the illusion that walking with God was going to be easy because in all honesty it's not. It hurts to die to your flesh daily, your pride has to be swallowed plenty of times, your will surrendered, your trust, patience, strength tested, and your fears overcome. Not only that, if I can just be real it's lonely standing apart from a culture that glorifies everything that God HATES, i.e murder, sexual immorality, gossiping, idolatry, hypocrisy and on and on it goes. Yet walking this journey is so worthwhile, the yolk is easy to bear because he first carried it.

v  If you have an illusion that this walk should be easy...please drop that like it's a handful of ravenous snakes. This walk should challenge you. A large part of this walk is the fact that God will test you, strip you, in order to mold you. He wants you to produce fruits. So don't run from being tested, embrace it, seek God's face about everything, spend quality time with him, and when the tests, pain, suffering come recognize it for what it is. A test and then PASS. You won't know the material, if you don't spend time studying the word or listening to the teacher.

As a parent you expect your child to hit certain milestones after they are born. If they don't you worry and quickly seek out the expertise of a specialist. It's the SAME THING with God, only difference is he is the expert =D. There is an expectation that as you walk with God there is a maturity that happens, growth that happens. The word says in 1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways." Honestly there is a point where we need to grow up in our walk with God, we shouldn't be in the same place, dealing with the same temptation months after months. In order to do so our mind has to be transformed.

v  Guarding those gates is now your mission. You can't really grow and mature in your faith and in your walk if you are letting anyone and anything plant seeds in your heart. Study the Word of God, when you come to the Father our minds, history, past is not all of sudden wiped away. Our guilt from it does, but our mind has to undergo changes. So refrain from watching, reading, or listening to anything that isn't pleasing to God or beneficial for your growth (i.e. shows, music, sex/romance novels), especially during the beginning stages. Just like a child/toddler what you see, hear, and watch is what you'll repeat and live.

Finally as we begin to explore who we are in God and start doing visible things that label us as "good Christians" we can have moments of pride. Let me just remind you and myself quickly that without Jesus we are nothing and could do nothing of merit. It sounds a bit harsh but it's the truth, Titus 3:5 "He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit" for in truth "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," Romans 3:23. No one can boast of their own righteousness because it, salvation, grace, and mercy are all gifts from God.

v  So humble yourselves before you wreck yourself. Never get into the mindset that you are living this thing out of your own strength or ability.

If you have fallen, please reach out to God. Let him comfort you, clean you off. Repent as for forgiveness, turn towards him instead of hiding. Because just like a parent of a fallen child, God does not love you any less because you fell. He is right there waiting for you. Don't hide and continue to backslide. Seek his face, accountability, positive fellowship, and when God has moved and spoken take another step.

Love y'all,

Heather Lindsey- Pregnant with Purpose

"Heather Lindsey is the founder of an awesome organization/movement that I am proud to be a part of known as Pinky Promise. Check it out!!

Pinky Promise & Heatherlindsey.blogspot.com