Love Dare: Challenge Accepted

I can not believe that it's already February!! For those of you who don't know this month is my BIRTHDAY month!! *does Happy Dance* and this year I am becoming 23 years wiser! I am that person that celebrates life everyday so I don't consider my birthday (February, 16th) to be a day of celebration because I start the party starts on the 1st and doesn't stop until March 1st =). I begin to think, what exactly should I do to celebrate my birthday?? Should I go out and dance the night away? Should I travel? Should I throw a big party? Should I do something spontaneously dangerous?......And then I hear deep in my spirit, a quiet still voice

"You should love"

"Well, I thought I did that?" I whispered back. Can I be honest with y'all I felt some type of way when this was place in my spirit. My God must have known that I wasn't receiving this message well because towards the end of the month of January I discovered a song. This song was so profound that not only did it inspire this love dare but it inspired me to make loving hard everyday a mission. The song "As Long as I'm Here" by Brandon Heath says....

Some day I'll pass through the great sky above
And the first thing I'll ask is how well did I love
Did I leave the world any better than it was before?
Of all the things I've done, could I have done any more?

How well did you Love? When it's your time to leave this world no one is going to list the amount of degrees you held or the businesses you started.... they are going to reflect on the memories you shared and the impact and legacy you left behind. The question is not going to be how well did you live but how impactful was your love in a world that is in desperate need of it.

So for my birthday month and as long it takes to make love a habit in your life, I am inviting you to a LOVE DARE. This is inspired by the movie "Fireproof" which I highly recommend you to watch. This movie is on Netflix .

For married folks: You guys can follow this dare to the T. This Dare was tailored specifically for YOU. If you are married and you decide to embark on this challenge, I challenge you to be silent. Allow your actions to speak, go through all 40 days of this challenge, journal and pour out the good and bad during your quiet time.

For Single Folks: I am a bold, radical believer in Jesus Christ. I believe in the teachings of the Bible, which means that I try to live my life with IT as my standard. I believe that marriage is a beautiful representation of the relationship between Christ and the Church, therefore it's a holy covenant that should be between a man and a woman. Until a man has paid the price for you known as marriage, he should not be getting husband benefits which means as a fellow sister of mine stated beautifully "NO WED, NO BED". So many of us are deceived into thinking that singleness is a curse. That is so far from the truth! We as singles are in a privilege position where we get to mature and work on different love relationships in our lives. We get to strengthen these support systems and create a network of accountability that will help you in seasons to come. Don't run away from the blessings and lessons of singleness because society is trying to tell you are incomplete. The fact of the matter is there are way to many INCOMPLETE individuals in "complete" relationships. So the LOVE DARE challenge for you is to seek out a family member who is estranged, that difficult sibling or parent, a friend, someone younger than you that you can pour love to. Tailor the dare to that relationship. To be honest there is not much change that needs to be done. Using it as an excuse just allows you to continue living in less than satisfying relationships.

It starts with YOU

Part of the challenge is to truly reflect on the changes you are seeing and the things you are feeling day to day. Use this challenge to go deeper in your quiet time. Jenny What's this Quiet Time you keep referring to? How do I go about doing it? I truly believe that when someone explains something better than you, don't try to beat a dead horse by trying to explain better. Humble yourself and use that person as a resource. I am blessed to be part of an amazing movement known as Pinky Promise. Founded by Heather Lindsey this movement inspires women to truly love and live this Christian life, by challenging singles to live a life of purity while single in a world that pushes the opposite and for the married women living a life of purity as keeper of her home (whatever that means to you and your husband according to your relationship and the Bible) and learning the true meaning and beauty of submission. She has an amazing blog which she talks about several topics one being quiet time. Check it out here: "How to Spend Time with God" by Heather Lindsey 

LOVE DARE RULES

1. Start on Day 1 and end with Day 40. The challenge builds on itself don't cheat yourself out by trying to skip around.
2. Give it your all. You don't want to wonder at the end of this "Could I have done more?"
3. Do it in secret. I love the book of Matthew starting from chapter 5 to chapter 6. Take time to read and reflect before jumping into this challenge. One of my favorite part of the teaching is Matthew 6:1 "Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven"
4. Journal. Reflect and speak to God
5. Don't give up. Before it gets better it can sometimes get worse. True test of love is not loving someone who is lovable but someone that is difficult to love. Those are the people who need it the most.
6. Pass it on. Don't keep this challenge to yourself, all though the person that you decide to have as the receiving end of this challenge should be kept in the dark =) Someone else may need a challenge.
7. Print this. Love Dare
8. Officially starting on February 14th.

 The second greatest commandment given to us by JESUS is to LOVE. The Bible says that "They will know us by our love" not by our awesome knowledge of scripture and theology but how we live this thing out.

Love y'all,

Peace of Mind: "When Breaking Up is Hard"

"You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you"

Isaiah 26:3 ESV

 Can I share something with you guys? The honest truth is I really didn't want to write this blog. It's been sitting in my drafts for maybe two and a half weeks. I struggled over thinking about what to write and how to write it. I was highly considering just finding a bunch of bible verses about peace and just add my personal take on it all. I felt convicted immediately and I realize that I was refusing to give God the glory that he deserve by not sharing part of my testimony. This would have been extremely generic blog if I didn't remember a little pearl of wisdom. I was once told that not every test, trial we go through is specifically FOR you, God can be preparing you to minister to someone else. This helps to get out of the "me" mentality

 It's amazing how many of us continue to walk in the mindset that our sufferings are ours alone...when in reality everything that we go through is a catalyst to something greater. This discovery of this beauty truth can't happen until we surrender our pride to Christ and put on the garment of humility and servant hood. In my quest to appear wise, I was behaving like a fool. This was apparent because foolishness is the language of the simple but with God and through his word we can gain wisdom and are given the gift of true peace. I've discovered joy but the journey to this place was a bit turbulent, I've embraced peace but that story had a hard beginning.....

I discovered true peace on January 5, 2012 when I decided to truly surrender my heart and life to Christ. I begin to walk and live in it around April-May of that year. Why did it take me 3 months to start enjoying this peace?? Well....my sinful pride/stubbornness definitely had a large part to play and because of a MAN. My EX was my first kiss, love and everything else following that. We were together for 5 years. He was all I knew, he was my comfort zone. This coupled with my rocky relationship with my parent and teenage hormones led to an extreme unhealthy codependent relationship. I didn't go anywhere without him or really tried new things. So you can imagine how horrified I was when the first thing God told me to do through a dream was to break up with him.

The Dream

I was sitting on a bench in an area surrounded by light, crying. This crying was not normal; the tears were gut wrenching, breath taking, and ugly. I felt like my heart was breaking in half and I was hunch over. All of a sudden I felt an overwhelming peaceful presence sit near me and pull my head gently unto his lap. Slowly my cries quieted as he caressed my hair. I heard him say, "Daughter are you sure he is what you want? I will not force my will on you, but if you let him go and trust me I will give you someone/something than you could ever imagined?" My response, "I don't know Daddy, I am scared"  He continued to gently caress my head.

I woke up in tears.

Isn't funny and beyond silly how we try to bargain with God about things he is trying to strip us from, when it's obvious that THING/SOMEONE is steadily killing us? "I can change him"...."He's all I have ever known"....."But God I know He's in my life for a reason----While God the whole time is telling you "Let go Beloved I have something BETTER for you, trust me"

I believed 2 big lies for so long that they became my reality----- like me you may not even recognize that you have been deceived by the enemy and have been living a life based on a lie.

1.  I had to earn/work for God's love.
2. God was this distant entity who only cared about "serious" things therefore could not be concerned about where I went, what I listened to, what I ate, what I wear etc.....
3. 
   
   

After some reflection I realize that two main reasons why I was so against letting this relationship go is lack of faith and lack of understanding of my worth. I didn't believe that GOD, my Creator, The One who knows me better than I could ever know myself, could GIVE me better. At the same time I didn't believe I deserve or could GET anything better. My peace of mind was quickly following my self-esteem and until I begin to learn that I was in COMPLETE in Christ and not in a MAN I would could never be content and at peace with my life. The word of God says in 1 Corinthians 2:9 "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him"------

God loves me and you without us having to DO anything to earn it. His love is perfect and has the power to complete and transform us in such a radical and intimate way that it has no choice but to inspire change in our communities, schools, and homes. His love is consistent, it is patient, and overwhelming. It has the ability to fill those voids left by Fatherlessness, brokenness, abuse, and abandonment, and every other hurt that we have endured while living in this broken and fallen world. 

But we have a part to play.  

A surgeon just finish operating on a patient who was severely slash by a foreign object. The slash was gruesome, it left muscles, bones, and organs exposed. Blood was everywhere. It almost appeared like the patient wouldn't make it through....how could he?? Everyone could see the damage that was done...But the surgeon is skilled, his hands are sure, his dedication steadfast, his attention to detail precise, and his willingness to fight for the patient life strong. Under his care, the patient survives the ordeal and is soon moved to the Intensive Care Unit. All though all stitch up and bandaged, the patient is weak, uncomfortable, and in pain. As he heals the doctor gives him details of the dos and donts for recovery. Now it's up to the patient to CHOOSE to comply and aid in his recovery. 

God is the surgeon! We are that patient left broken and bleeding after a break up or a let down. In his hands you will be able to pull through. In his steady hands that broken heart can be mended, but you have to want the healing for yourself. Just like in the natural what we do during the recovery phase determines how well our wounds heal. How do I do that Jenny?? I want to be healed, but I don't know how to do that....  Well below are just dos and donts I was told by the doctor that has aided me in my recovery phase. 

DON'TS 

1. Do not jump into anything else, especially in the intensity of your emotions. You don't need a temporary fix, you need healing. No void filler can distract you or keep from returning to that place you are trying to leave.

2. Do not torture yourself by reminiscing on the good moments you've had because that's exactly what they were moments. If it was that great you wouldn't be feeling so empty.

3. Do not check social media or stalk. For one that is not healthy whatsoever. It's the equivalent of purposely opening your stitches just to see your blood pour. 

4. Do not bash or sully the name of that individual. At one point they were all that and a bag of chips. At one point they were the "love of your life" and could do no wrong. All though I know you may feel hurt and the breakful was painful I can promise you that demeaning or running someone reputation in the dirt with your words says more about you then it does them.  

DO's

1. Let Go. You can't see beyond or as far as God sees. He knows your purpose, he knows the desires and wants of your heart, he knows YOU. Trust him and take that leap of faith and release what's been stealing your peace of mind and your joy.

* Spend daily time with Him. Journal, read the word, create a playlist that helps you to worship.

2. Forgive yourself. I didn't realize how important this step was until I realize how much I beat myself up over loss time, things that I did, and so much more. God forgives you, and when we repent he doesn't hold it against us.

3. Take Responsibility. It took two. Take responsibility for the part you played.

4. Cut ties as best as you can.  I didn't realize how entangled I was until I had to separate myself. I shared phone line and other things with this man. But I was determine not to fall back to what I was comfortable. Started with social media. I block and cut all ties. I work with my phone company to separate as best as possible. I return what was his on one go. If you know what's yours make a list. Continuous back and forth is a no no. Don't lie to yourself, you don't need that scarf.

5. Guard those gates. Watch who you hang around, the little wisdom "birds of a feather, flock together" is a true statement. Broken, angry attitudes are contagious. Watch you listen, read, watch. They all plant seeds, cool off on Chris Brown, Mary J. Blige, Boys II Men, Scandal for a bit.

6. Get Accountability. Point blank, seek overcomer and you will learn to overcome.

7. Discover who you are with God. HE is so adventurous and he wants to teach you all about Him and yourself. Make Time to spend with him on a regular basis.

Love y'all,

 Gotta Find Peace of Mind- Lauryn Hill

Celebrating 2 years of Purity!!