Stuck on Boaz

My prayer is that you Beloved hear my heart and understand my intention in writing this blog. This blog is NOT a criticism towards the idea of waiting on your "Adam/Boaz". I am a firm believer that if it is the will of God for you to be married/ to have a family it WILL happen. One of the many truths that I stand on is that the word of God will never return void. What he says, IS...but I can't help observing that many of us are STUCK on Boaz or this idea of him (an imperfect human being) rather than glued to CHRIST. I can't help myself noticing the irony of wanting to be presented/handed to God's BEST (man of God chasing after Him) yet refusing to be IN HIS HANDS submitted to His will.

So has this concept/ideal of "Adam/Boaz" taken Gods place in your heart? Is Jesus even enough for you? Are you even prepared for that ministry??...because let's be real marriage is suppose to be an earthly representation of the relationship between Christ and the church. Are you ready to follow and serve? Are you willing to humble yourself and work through things even if your feelings are not in agreement?

Can God even trust you with one of His Sons?

There has been such a push lately of women desiring to be in a Godly marriage. That is so awesome!! So many sisters are now creating Godly standards and learning to stick to them. At the same time we seem to forget that all though we are all Gods PRINCESSES, the men we are praying for are His SONS, a KING-in-training. The men after His heart are purpose, they are giving a mission which is to use the talents/gifts given to them to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that Jesus has commanded them. Hear me well when I say that all though not every man is going to end up in China, Siberia, Africa or wherever, all of them who confess Jesus as their Lord and Savior will have to become Christ ambassador in their spheres of influence. As women according to the Bible we are met to be a HELPMEET this mission.

Now if we were to actually go and study the Book of Ruth (where the story of Ruth/Boaz is located) you can learn that Ruth was in the process of becoming a true HELPMEET long before Boaz entered the scene. When we start in Chapter 1 we find Naomi and Ruth widows with no where to turn and with no one truly to depend on. Naomie had suffered the loss of both her husband and two sons and was devastated. She now had the responsibility of two daughter-in-laws during a period in time where it was difficult to live without the protection and covering of a man. Naomie knew of the hard times to come and the dangers to come while travelling with two beautiful and basically single women and she gave her two daughter-in-laws a choice.

Go back to what they were familiar with (home, family, potential of getting married again, security) or......come with her to an unknown land and face unforeseen challenges while believing in an unfamiliar God. In that moment Ruth had to make a choice. A. W. Tozer said it best when he said that "The choices of life, not the compulsions, reveal character". In that moment Ruth begin forming the character of faith. By declaring to Naomie that her people and God would now be hers she displayed something that many of us women fail in doing today, which is trusting God to order our steps and lead us in plans that are not met to harm us but are created to give us a new hope.

How can we be asking God to give us the ministry of marriage when we aren't faithful in the place/portion we have now?   Why should he bring us to that area of unknown when we struggle in taking that leap of faith of letting that random go, leaving that job, or even just speaking/forgiving that person. It wasn't easy for Ruth to leave all that she knew but she recognized and seized a truth. You can't remain comfortable on this journey with God. Every men or women who truly walk with God had to leave something behind in order to move forward. 

When I get into my feelings, (usually after watching a ridiculous amount of romantic movies) I imagine what it would be like to meet this guy that I am purposed to share this life with. I wonder if our eyes will meet across a room, or would we bump into each other in a crowded area, will I trip and find myself saved from a teeth breaking close call by his hands on my arms, or would it be slow realization after years of friendship. I realize today that the meeting was not as important as the process, which I will call the Eve Process.

I found it so interesting how the creation of Eve had really no active participation on Adam part. Outside of getting a rib (notice it's not a toe for him to walk on or hair to sit on top of Him) Adam was asleep during the whole thing. God his Father saw that he had a need and went about providing for it. Eve was that answered need.

I can't help but to feel that intimacy during her forming. God was literally forming her, stitching her, molding her into the woman she needed to be. The man had no opinion but God had complete control. Whew. I like to think of that brief time as Eve single season. During that moment she had God undivided attention. She wasn't rushing the process because ultimately she was in the hands of the Creator of Time. Only when she was ready according to His Timing was Adam awoken and presented this beautiful gift, which is what we are after going through the process.

How can we tell God to wake our Adam or present us to our Boaz when we keep running from our process?  Every woman who have been presented to Gods BEST has had an Eve Process, a season of preparation, a season of complete intimacy with The Lord. Ruth season of preparation involved her working the land during the beginning of the barley harvest.

When I read Ruth story I feel in my heart that Boaz field was either not the first field she tended/work or that first meeting was not the first time she was found working on the harvest. I say this because when Boaz acquired about her from the guy in charge of the reapers, he was able to tell him that Ruth was Moabite who traveled with Naomie who has been working from early in the morning until that point with just a short rest. He identified her as a hardworking woman, dedicated, something that you don't always see after just one meeting....But the main point is that Ruth was developing a Godly reputation that was preceding her and speaking for her in her absence. I am pretty sure that Ruth was not the only women in the field, but just like Adam eyes were open only for Eve causing an outpouring of adoration so was Boaz to Ruth. Which brings me to a little love note shared to me by God, what he has for you is for YOU. No one can take it in fact he has said in his word "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined the things that God has prepared for those who trust Him". Beloved trust Him with your heart and love life. Instead of passively waiting, pining for the Boaz/Adam to come learn to enjoy the Eve Process.

How to Enjoy the Eve Process

1. Develop sound doctrine. It's shocking to me how vulnerable we women/singles especially are vulnerable to horrible doctrine/theology. Instead of pinning for an imperfect man lets agree to study THE  Creator of Man. There are way too many books, podcast, resources available out there for us to continue to excuse ignorance. It's not that you don't know, eventually it comes to the truth that you don't want to know.

2. Develop a prayer life/intimate time with God. Nothing beats spending true uninterrupted time with your Creator. There is something so personal in allowing Him to download himself into you. When you develop that it's more difficult to be fooled into allowing something else become your source. Beside in marriage, women we are called to pray, to intercede in the spiritual realm, cover our husbands, family, friends, environments. I don't know about you but I don't want to learn/develop that skill in the midst of an attack when I have more to lose.

3. Develop a Healthy Lifestyle. How can you get busy doing the work of God if you are always sick and tired. Your body is his temple. It's time we start treating it that way. Beloved let's stop believing lies that we can be great in God while living undisciplined and without self control. Being obese, skinny unhealthy is not godly. Point Blank. Learn to cook healthy meals. Good exercise habits.

4. Discover who you are & mature in areas of weakness. Pastor Andy Thompson shared in a sermon 10 questions everyone should about themselves. Below I've listed the questions from Pastor Andy but I truly want to stress the beauty of discovering who you are with are. What's your love language? Forgiveness Language? Stressors? Stress Releasing Habits? Favorite Activities? Pet Peeves? Likes and Dislikes?

• What are your strengths?
• What are your core values?
• What are your weaknesses?
• What do you like? What does your perfect look like? What are your desires?
• How are you viewed? What do people say about you?
• How did you get here?
• What is happening right now?
• Where are you going?
• Who are your friends?
•  Who are your enemies?

      5. Get your financial life in Order, become knowledgeable on marriage. It's mind boggling to me how we desire for this season but we lack in preparing to be successful in it. Did you know that statistically finances, lack of communication of one of the main reasons marriages end up in divorce?  There are so many great books by amazing authors that teach about happy, successful marriage. How to get them and most importantly how to keep them. Cornelius Lindsey: "So you want to be Married, I'm Married, Now What", Andy Thompson: "Handle with Care", and Willard F. Harley, Jr: "His Needs, Her Needs; Building an Affair-Proof Marriage." Bring something worthwhile to the table start working on you, knocking down some credit card/loan debt. Be active! Check out my blog Live Like No One Else: Debt Free Journey

No man can ever complete your life outside of Christ and waiting to live for that moment is truly an insult of that life that Christ died to give you. So all though this blog was written with my sisters in mind this is an encouragement to all SINGLES, get busy doing the work of God, Get lost in discovering His Character. Don't pine away for the reward of a relationship when GOD is all the gift that we could ever hope for.

God isn't expecting perfection, he is however requiring dedication.

Beloved Rise,

Peace of Mind: "When Breaking Up is Hard"

"You, Lord, give perfect peace to those who keep their purpose firm and put their trust in you"

Isaiah 26:3 ESV

 Can I share something with you guys? The honest truth is I really didn't want to write this blog. It's been sitting in my drafts for maybe two and a half weeks. I struggled over thinking about what to write and how to write it. I was highly considering just finding a bunch of bible verses about peace and just add my personal take on it all. I felt convicted immediately and I realize that I was refusing to give God the glory that he deserve by not sharing part of my testimony. This would have been extremely generic blog if I didn't remember a little pearl of wisdom. I was once told that not every test, trial we go through is specifically FOR you, God can be preparing you to minister to someone else. This helps to get out of the "me" mentality

 It's amazing how many of us continue to walk in the mindset that our sufferings are ours alone...when in reality everything that we go through is a catalyst to something greater. This discovery of this beauty truth can't happen until we surrender our pride to Christ and put on the garment of humility and servant hood. In my quest to appear wise, I was behaving like a fool. This was apparent because foolishness is the language of the simple but with God and through his word we can gain wisdom and are given the gift of true peace. I've discovered joy but the journey to this place was a bit turbulent, I've embraced peace but that story had a hard beginning.....

I discovered true peace on January 5, 2012 when I decided to truly surrender my heart and life to Christ. I begin to walk and live in it around April-May of that year. Why did it take me 3 months to start enjoying this peace?? Well....my sinful pride/stubbornness definitely had a large part to play and because of a MAN. My EX was my first kiss, love and everything else following that. We were together for 5 years. He was all I knew, he was my comfort zone. This coupled with my rocky relationship with my parent and teenage hormones led to an extreme unhealthy codependent relationship. I didn't go anywhere without him or really tried new things. So you can imagine how horrified I was when the first thing God told me to do through a dream was to break up with him.

The Dream

I was sitting on a bench in an area surrounded by light, crying. This crying was not normal; the tears were gut wrenching, breath taking, and ugly. I felt like my heart was breaking in half and I was hunch over. All of a sudden I felt an overwhelming peaceful presence sit near me and pull my head gently unto his lap. Slowly my cries quieted as he caressed my hair. I heard him say, "Daughter are you sure he is what you want? I will not force my will on you, but if you let him go and trust me I will give you someone/something than you could ever imagined?" My response, "I don't know Daddy, I am scared"  He continued to gently caress my head.

I woke up in tears.

Isn't funny and beyond silly how we try to bargain with God about things he is trying to strip us from, when it's obvious that THING/SOMEONE is steadily killing us? "I can change him"...."He's all I have ever known"....."But God I know He's in my life for a reason----While God the whole time is telling you "Let go Beloved I have something BETTER for you, trust me"

I believed 2 big lies for so long that they became my reality----- like me you may not even recognize that you have been deceived by the enemy and have been living a life based on a lie.

1.  I had to earn/work for God's love.
2. God was this distant entity who only cared about "serious" things therefore could not be concerned about where I went, what I listened to, what I ate, what I wear etc.....
3. 
   
   

After some reflection I realize that two main reasons why I was so against letting this relationship go is lack of faith and lack of understanding of my worth. I didn't believe that GOD, my Creator, The One who knows me better than I could ever know myself, could GIVE me better. At the same time I didn't believe I deserve or could GET anything better. My peace of mind was quickly following my self-esteem and until I begin to learn that I was in COMPLETE in Christ and not in a MAN I would could never be content and at peace with my life. The word of God says in 1 Corinthians 2:9 "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him"------

God loves me and you without us having to DO anything to earn it. His love is perfect and has the power to complete and transform us in such a radical and intimate way that it has no choice but to inspire change in our communities, schools, and homes. His love is consistent, it is patient, and overwhelming. It has the ability to fill those voids left by Fatherlessness, brokenness, abuse, and abandonment, and every other hurt that we have endured while living in this broken and fallen world. 

But we have a part to play.  

A surgeon just finish operating on a patient who was severely slash by a foreign object. The slash was gruesome, it left muscles, bones, and organs exposed. Blood was everywhere. It almost appeared like the patient wouldn't make it through....how could he?? Everyone could see the damage that was done...But the surgeon is skilled, his hands are sure, his dedication steadfast, his attention to detail precise, and his willingness to fight for the patient life strong. Under his care, the patient survives the ordeal and is soon moved to the Intensive Care Unit. All though all stitch up and bandaged, the patient is weak, uncomfortable, and in pain. As he heals the doctor gives him details of the dos and donts for recovery. Now it's up to the patient to CHOOSE to comply and aid in his recovery. 

God is the surgeon! We are that patient left broken and bleeding after a break up or a let down. In his hands you will be able to pull through. In his steady hands that broken heart can be mended, but you have to want the healing for yourself. Just like in the natural what we do during the recovery phase determines how well our wounds heal. How do I do that Jenny?? I want to be healed, but I don't know how to do that....  Well below are just dos and donts I was told by the doctor that has aided me in my recovery phase. 

DON'TS 

1. Do not jump into anything else, especially in the intensity of your emotions. You don't need a temporary fix, you need healing. No void filler can distract you or keep from returning to that place you are trying to leave.

2. Do not torture yourself by reminiscing on the good moments you've had because that's exactly what they were moments. If it was that great you wouldn't be feeling so empty.

3. Do not check social media or stalk. For one that is not healthy whatsoever. It's the equivalent of purposely opening your stitches just to see your blood pour. 

4. Do not bash or sully the name of that individual. At one point they were all that and a bag of chips. At one point they were the "love of your life" and could do no wrong. All though I know you may feel hurt and the breakful was painful I can promise you that demeaning or running someone reputation in the dirt with your words says more about you then it does them.  

DO's

1. Let Go. You can't see beyond or as far as God sees. He knows your purpose, he knows the desires and wants of your heart, he knows YOU. Trust him and take that leap of faith and release what's been stealing your peace of mind and your joy.

* Spend daily time with Him. Journal, read the word, create a playlist that helps you to worship.

2. Forgive yourself. I didn't realize how important this step was until I realize how much I beat myself up over loss time, things that I did, and so much more. God forgives you, and when we repent he doesn't hold it against us.

3. Take Responsibility. It took two. Take responsibility for the part you played.

4. Cut ties as best as you can.  I didn't realize how entangled I was until I had to separate myself. I shared phone line and other things with this man. But I was determine not to fall back to what I was comfortable. Started with social media. I block and cut all ties. I work with my phone company to separate as best as possible. I return what was his on one go. If you know what's yours make a list. Continuous back and forth is a no no. Don't lie to yourself, you don't need that scarf.

5. Guard those gates. Watch who you hang around, the little wisdom "birds of a feather, flock together" is a true statement. Broken, angry attitudes are contagious. Watch you listen, read, watch. They all plant seeds, cool off on Chris Brown, Mary J. Blige, Boys II Men, Scandal for a bit.

6. Get Accountability. Point blank, seek overcomer and you will learn to overcome.

7. Discover who you are with God. HE is so adventurous and he wants to teach you all about Him and yourself. Make Time to spend with him on a regular basis.

Love y'all,

 Gotta Find Peace of Mind- Lauryn Hill

Celebrating 2 years of Purity!!