Stuck on Boaz

My prayer is that you Beloved hear my heart and understand my intention in writing this blog. This blog is NOT a criticism towards the idea of waiting on your "Adam/Boaz". I am a firm believer that if it is the will of God for you to be married/ to have a family it WILL happen. One of the many truths that I stand on is that the word of God will never return void. What he says, IS...but I can't help observing that many of us are STUCK on Boaz or this idea of him (an imperfect human being) rather than glued to CHRIST. I can't help myself noticing the irony of wanting to be presented/handed to God's BEST (man of God chasing after Him) yet refusing to be IN HIS HANDS submitted to His will.

So has this concept/ideal of "Adam/Boaz" taken Gods place in your heart? Is Jesus even enough for you? Are you even prepared for that ministry??...because let's be real marriage is suppose to be an earthly representation of the relationship between Christ and the church. Are you ready to follow and serve? Are you willing to humble yourself and work through things even if your feelings are not in agreement?

Can God even trust you with one of His Sons?

There has been such a push lately of women desiring to be in a Godly marriage. That is so awesome!! So many sisters are now creating Godly standards and learning to stick to them. At the same time we seem to forget that all though we are all Gods PRINCESSES, the men we are praying for are His SONS, a KING-in-training. The men after His heart are purpose, they are giving a mission which is to use the talents/gifts given to them to go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that Jesus has commanded them. Hear me well when I say that all though not every man is going to end up in China, Siberia, Africa or wherever, all of them who confess Jesus as their Lord and Savior will have to become Christ ambassador in their spheres of influence. As women according to the Bible we are met to be a HELPMEET this mission.

Now if we were to actually go and study the Book of Ruth (where the story of Ruth/Boaz is located) you can learn that Ruth was in the process of becoming a true HELPMEET long before Boaz entered the scene. When we start in Chapter 1 we find Naomi and Ruth widows with no where to turn and with no one truly to depend on. Naomie had suffered the loss of both her husband and two sons and was devastated. She now had the responsibility of two daughter-in-laws during a period in time where it was difficult to live without the protection and covering of a man. Naomie knew of the hard times to come and the dangers to come while travelling with two beautiful and basically single women and she gave her two daughter-in-laws a choice.

Go back to what they were familiar with (home, family, potential of getting married again, security) or......come with her to an unknown land and face unforeseen challenges while believing in an unfamiliar God. In that moment Ruth had to make a choice. A. W. Tozer said it best when he said that "The choices of life, not the compulsions, reveal character". In that moment Ruth begin forming the character of faith. By declaring to Naomie that her people and God would now be hers she displayed something that many of us women fail in doing today, which is trusting God to order our steps and lead us in plans that are not met to harm us but are created to give us a new hope.

How can we be asking God to give us the ministry of marriage when we aren't faithful in the place/portion we have now?   Why should he bring us to that area of unknown when we struggle in taking that leap of faith of letting that random go, leaving that job, or even just speaking/forgiving that person. It wasn't easy for Ruth to leave all that she knew but she recognized and seized a truth. You can't remain comfortable on this journey with God. Every men or women who truly walk with God had to leave something behind in order to move forward. 

When I get into my feelings, (usually after watching a ridiculous amount of romantic movies) I imagine what it would be like to meet this guy that I am purposed to share this life with. I wonder if our eyes will meet across a room, or would we bump into each other in a crowded area, will I trip and find myself saved from a teeth breaking close call by his hands on my arms, or would it be slow realization after years of friendship. I realize today that the meeting was not as important as the process, which I will call the Eve Process.

I found it so interesting how the creation of Eve had really no active participation on Adam part. Outside of getting a rib (notice it's not a toe for him to walk on or hair to sit on top of Him) Adam was asleep during the whole thing. God his Father saw that he had a need and went about providing for it. Eve was that answered need.

I can't help but to feel that intimacy during her forming. God was literally forming her, stitching her, molding her into the woman she needed to be. The man had no opinion but God had complete control. Whew. I like to think of that brief time as Eve single season. During that moment she had God undivided attention. She wasn't rushing the process because ultimately she was in the hands of the Creator of Time. Only when she was ready according to His Timing was Adam awoken and presented this beautiful gift, which is what we are after going through the process.

How can we tell God to wake our Adam or present us to our Boaz when we keep running from our process?  Every woman who have been presented to Gods BEST has had an Eve Process, a season of preparation, a season of complete intimacy with The Lord. Ruth season of preparation involved her working the land during the beginning of the barley harvest.

When I read Ruth story I feel in my heart that Boaz field was either not the first field she tended/work or that first meeting was not the first time she was found working on the harvest. I say this because when Boaz acquired about her from the guy in charge of the reapers, he was able to tell him that Ruth was Moabite who traveled with Naomie who has been working from early in the morning until that point with just a short rest. He identified her as a hardworking woman, dedicated, something that you don't always see after just one meeting....But the main point is that Ruth was developing a Godly reputation that was preceding her and speaking for her in her absence. I am pretty sure that Ruth was not the only women in the field, but just like Adam eyes were open only for Eve causing an outpouring of adoration so was Boaz to Ruth. Which brings me to a little love note shared to me by God, what he has for you is for YOU. No one can take it in fact he has said in his word "What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined the things that God has prepared for those who trust Him". Beloved trust Him with your heart and love life. Instead of passively waiting, pining for the Boaz/Adam to come learn to enjoy the Eve Process.

How to Enjoy the Eve Process

1. Develop sound doctrine. It's shocking to me how vulnerable we women/singles especially are vulnerable to horrible doctrine/theology. Instead of pinning for an imperfect man lets agree to study THE  Creator of Man. There are way too many books, podcast, resources available out there for us to continue to excuse ignorance. It's not that you don't know, eventually it comes to the truth that you don't want to know.

2. Develop a prayer life/intimate time with God. Nothing beats spending true uninterrupted time with your Creator. There is something so personal in allowing Him to download himself into you. When you develop that it's more difficult to be fooled into allowing something else become your source. Beside in marriage, women we are called to pray, to intercede in the spiritual realm, cover our husbands, family, friends, environments. I don't know about you but I don't want to learn/develop that skill in the midst of an attack when I have more to lose.

3. Develop a Healthy Lifestyle. How can you get busy doing the work of God if you are always sick and tired. Your body is his temple. It's time we start treating it that way. Beloved let's stop believing lies that we can be great in God while living undisciplined and without self control. Being obese, skinny unhealthy is not godly. Point Blank. Learn to cook healthy meals. Good exercise habits.

4. Discover who you are & mature in areas of weakness. Pastor Andy Thompson shared in a sermon 10 questions everyone should about themselves. Below I've listed the questions from Pastor Andy but I truly want to stress the beauty of discovering who you are with are. What's your love language? Forgiveness Language? Stressors? Stress Releasing Habits? Favorite Activities? Pet Peeves? Likes and Dislikes?

• What are your strengths?
• What are your core values?
• What are your weaknesses?
• What do you like? What does your perfect look like? What are your desires?
• How are you viewed? What do people say about you?
• How did you get here?
• What is happening right now?
• Where are you going?
• Who are your friends?
•  Who are your enemies?

      5. Get your financial life in Order, become knowledgeable on marriage. It's mind boggling to me how we desire for this season but we lack in preparing to be successful in it. Did you know that statistically finances, lack of communication of one of the main reasons marriages end up in divorce?  There are so many great books by amazing authors that teach about happy, successful marriage. How to get them and most importantly how to keep them. Cornelius Lindsey: "So you want to be Married, I'm Married, Now What", Andy Thompson: "Handle with Care", and Willard F. Harley, Jr: "His Needs, Her Needs; Building an Affair-Proof Marriage." Bring something worthwhile to the table start working on you, knocking down some credit card/loan debt. Be active! Check out my blog Live Like No One Else: Debt Free Journey

No man can ever complete your life outside of Christ and waiting to live for that moment is truly an insult of that life that Christ died to give you. So all though this blog was written with my sisters in mind this is an encouragement to all SINGLES, get busy doing the work of God, Get lost in discovering His Character. Don't pine away for the reward of a relationship when GOD is all the gift that we could ever hope for.

God isn't expecting perfection, he is however requiring dedication.

Beloved Rise,

Fear of a Woman

So I just experience a moment that has left me feeling a series of emotions, fear, anxiety, slight panic, and absolute RAGE. So much so I felt led to write this blog while sipping some tea to really just process it completely and just allow the Holy Spirit to calm my nerves.

I don't even know how to properly express the feelings I am experiencing right now. I think one of the main one that just automatically come to mind is, I am PISSED OFF. I am LIVID that I live in a world/ society where my safety is in jeopardy simply because I am a woman. I am upset because we live in a world where degrading women have become such a norm that we no longer blink an eye when it happens. I am furious because more and more often in every form of media woman are being shown less as human beings and more as human parts met to be pawed or handled...but mostly heartbroken at the message we are sending to our young girls and teaching our young boys. Fear is suppose to be my friend, blame is suppose to be my burden to bear...and tonight the idea of carrying either has left me infuriated and reflective.

The Moment

On my way home tonight from church, I rode the bus home. Within a few minutes of actually riding on the bus my phone died. I wasn't too concerned because the bus ride was 40 minutes long and depending on the bus driver the walk home never takes me more than 5 minutes. As I hot step my way home I realize that I had lock my key in my mothers car, and as I came closer to home I realize that the only person home was my mother who was most definitely in deep sleep. Rang the doorbell, no answer...knock on the door, no response. Now having a dead phone has become an issue.

I decided to find a place/ store where I could charge my phone and proceeded down the street. Almost immediately I was approached by a guy who offered me to just follow him to his house that was across the street where "I can hang out and watch TV while my phone charged...This was followed by comments like "You're so beautiful, how old are you, you have such a pretty face" Immediately red alarms went off and I ended the conversation. The mister must not have gotten the memo even when I stated that someone was waiting for me because he decided to move a bit closer. I firmly told him no and good night and proceeded to walk across the street towards a gas station that was filled with people. As I got closer I notice a car was following me!! This guy had jump in his car to follow me and proceeded to drive and stop every few steps I took all the while gesturing for me to get in the car. Right before I reach the gas station, he screech the car to a stop and attempted to get out.

I was scared.

I made it into the safety of the gas station and someone who actually saw the whole interaction asked me if I was all right. I charge my phone for a bit, contacted my brother and told him the situation. The gas station was closing and I decided to make a decision. I was not going to allow this man to place fear in my heart, I waited a bit to make sure his car was not close and decided to take the opposite street home.

Power of Prayer 

It's crazy how heightened your senses become when you are afraid. Every sounds seem like roaring thundering crashing right over your head...Every shadow a living, breathing incarnation of every childhood nightmare.

So I prayed

"Daddy I am scared but I believe the promises that you promised me. You said no weapons formed against me shall prosper, that you are always with me and that you will never leave or forsake. So protect Abba from the sight of evil men, hide me from the wickedness in their hearts. Holy Spirit comfort me and send my angels to be a shield around me right now"

I felt peace. 

As soon as I step up my stairs I could hear the stirrings of my mother as she yank the doors open, demanding to know who was following and if everything was all right. Now my Mama has always been a fighter and I'm pretty sure if anyone was behind me she would have tackled them down. I rarely doubt that this woman would protect me with her life if she was face with that decision.

Power of Words 

My grandmother once told me "that some people just don't know how to show their concern,fear (emotions) properly, rather than get upset at everything they say, seek to find the spirit behind the words"  

This little piece off wisdom has helped me guard my heart from many hurtful things that could have easily taken root in my heart. It has allowed me to learn the art of forgiveness quickly. With that being said, my mother is that person, whose words don't always convey the message that I know she truly wants to express in her heart. That has caused a lot of friction between us which I am holding fast to prayer about, believing God to do something awesome as I trust Him more and more...but tonight she said something that I just thought was extremely insensitive and stupid and a perfect display of how the world thinks. 

She said, "It was God who was protecting you BUT as a young lady you need to be careful what you wear because if you weren't wearing something revealing he would have never approached you that way"............

All though it drives me up the wall that I have to insert this disclaimer I would like to add I was wearing a (romper with a blue calf-length skirt over it *per direction of Holy Spirit* with a cardigan)

All though I understood from practice that she didn't know how to properly express concern what I heard was..

It's your fault

It's your responsibility

You're to blame for what happen

Men can't help themselves and as woman you should no better

That 3 letter word shifted responsibility, that 3 letter word created even for a moment this idea that I deserve to be mistreated instead of treated like a lady, that 3 letter word said to a man who had perversion and wickedness in his heart toward a woman that he was not too blame, that 3 letter word reminded me that I live in fallen world because the word that made me feel and think these things came from own my mother. 

Do I blame her??.....No, she was taught this herself by someone else. Did I learn something about this?.....Yes, I learn that there is a secret, hidden part of me that I have yet to allow the Holy Spirit to heal. I realize this experience has flash a light on a can of worms, ugliness, pain that I am not ready to explore yet and that's ok. But it's made me even more aware that my God is REAL, PRESENT, and ACTIVE. That He is there as my hidden place, my fortress, my strong refuge, my comforter late at night. So my reflection before I call it a night is filled with anguish for my sisters and hope that this reach someone that was hurting. You are not alone.

To those who have been raped/molested/terrorized: I am so so so sorry that you have endured any of it. It breaks my heart that you a survivor of such evilness. I want you to know that you are NOT to blame, you did not deserve that pain and God wept when it happen. He wept that something was stolen from you (innocence, joy, dignity, security, peace of mind, self-esteem) by force. But as you read this I want you to know there is no comforter like the Holy Spirit, and vengeance is The Lord. He LOVES you so and has the power to give you back all the things that were taken from you in abundance. You are valuable, beautiful, wonderfully and fearfully made, a masterpiece, a princess of The King, filled with purpose. I want you to know for yourself the comfort that I am getting tonight as your own. It's not easy but trust me when I say God will never leave you on this journey.

Beloved Rise  

Rudolph Light Bulb Moment: "God Speaks"

Have you ever had a light bulb moment while listening to Christmas music?? Well until today that's never happened to me. What I realize as I reflect on this moment is that when you come to a season where you crave to hear from God, he begins to speak to you through the most unexpected and beautiful ways!! Isn't it awesome?! It's like God is intentionally seeking to get your attention by using things that you love like music, nature, literature, movies, childhood memories, anything that has significance to us. This lesson and bit of wisdom has come during a time where I've realized that I have to stop beating myself down because I don't hear God the same way that someone else on this journey hears him. Isn't it silly how we expect a God of such relational intimacy & creativity to interact and communicate with us the same generic way. I thank God that he is BIGGER than my limitations and imagination.

With that said there is one absolute definite way that God speaks and that is through his word, the Holy Bible. The wisdom and knowledge that comes with reading his word can never be attained without first having a healthy dose of fear (reverence) for who HE is (i.e great I AM, the Alpha & Omega, Creator, Savior, Omnipresent, Omniscient God). It still blows my mind that THIS very same God desires a relationship with ME. So much so that he sent The Lord Jesus Christ to die to be a bridge for me to his Holy presence. That degree of Love overwhelms me everyday..... Whew!

                                                                                                                            

As we continue to explore the communication prowess of God we recognize there are several different ways that he has been known to speak to man. I just want to list four that really stands out to me currently....

Ø  Celestial beings, aka angels: One of the best examples of this is Mary & Joseph, the human parents of Jesus Christ. Mary was told about the conception of her son Jesus Christ as an engaged virgin by the angel Gabriel, Luke 1:26-38

Ø  Dreams: The birth and early years of Jesus life was guided and protected by God because he communicated to his father Joseph through dreams, from his escape from Egypt to his return to Nazareth God led Joseph, Matthew 2: 12-21

Ø  Prophecy/Prophets: I truly believe that God had/s anointed everyone to be his mouthpiece but there are notably some that he uses as loud horns to speak to his bull headed people (i.e. Jeremiah, Isaiah, Daniel, and Hosea to name a few).

      v  Side Note: For me one of the prophets that speaks the clearest and loudest is Hosea. Hosea was a young preacher who was told by God to marry/love unconditionally a prostitute, Gomer, who would cheat on him consistently. God uses Hosea obedience & love as a physical representation of how HE continues to pursue, woe, nurture, buy back an unworthy people simply because of LOVE. There is a movie on the Book of Hosea on Netflix if you haven't seen it go check it out.
                                                      
Ø  Inner Voice/Holy Spirit: God WALKED and COMMUNED on this Earth with Man in the Garden of Eden until man fell hard into sin, Jesus was born and LIVED with man until man's pride and disbelief, harden heart led them to KILL the Savior. Praise God that this isn't the end of the story!! When Christ rose again before he left he spoke of a gift that was given to us by God, the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the remaining part of the Trinity that still walks/lives on this Earth with us. It is the guide, our friend in need, an intercessor, and an advocate. I believe in the Trinity but if I can be honest it's often really hard for me to rationalize and understand the majesty of it all. I have learned to STOP trying to force understanding but rather grow in it. So for me this is how God has been slowly revealing to me this whole thing

v  God: the Great I AM, he is the Creator, author of time, and the essence of my being. Words aren't enough to describe HIM but the few that I use to call him is Abba, Father, Jireh.

v  Jesus Christ: My first love, my Savior, the Son who came to this earth to die in order for me to LIVE. He is amazing!! Falling in Love with him daily is an adventure

v  Holy Spirit: That dear and beyond awesome girlfriend, who gives me advice and direction, the one I contact when dealing with issues as simple as what to wear/what to eat, to intense, confrontational moments when I really want to  tell someone about themself  *ghetto spelling intentional y'all know some people want to make you get out of character*

Now I say ALL of this in order to tell you guys about what God spoke to me about a reindeer

yes.......a reindeer and his name was Rudolph

Cues Music:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer)
Had a very shiny nose (like a light bulb)
And if you ever saw it (saw it)
You would even say it glows (like a flashlight)
And all of the other reindeer (reindeer)
Used to laugh and call him names (like Pinocchio)
They never let poor Rudolph (Rudolph)
Join in any reindeer games( like monopoly)

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say, (ho ho ho)
Rudolph with your nose so bright,
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

Then all the reindeer loved him,(loved him)
And they shouted out with glee, (Yipee)
Rudolph the red-nose Reindeer (reindeer)
You'll go down in history (like George Washington)

I am pretty sure like me you just sang this song, with the music parts included!! Hahaha. Now I just want to share with you 3 points that God spoke to me when I was listening to this childhood Christmas song that correlates to each of the verses above and I sincerely hope that it encourages you and changes forever how you view and listen to God.

1.      When Rudolph was born, he was visibly different. His uniqueness set apart, and caused the other reindeer's that didn't understand to ostracize and ridicule him. His difference cause him to be left out. Then the Lord said to me,

"Beloved, just like Rudolph was born unique and different so are you. When you were being made in the womb, before your mother even knew of you, I LOVED YOU. I was busy stitching you to my perfect image, forming you, placing things in you to be birth at the appropriate time, nothing was a mistake. When you took your first breath into this world, my angels rejoice, and I smiled because I saw you and I knew my creation was good, in all this world there is none like you, YOU are my MASTERPIECE"

Whew! Talk about instant tears. I don't know if you are like me but for a long time I was stuck trying to be somebody else. I really didn't love myself. I didn't like the color of my skin, I didn't like my size, the texture of my hair or the fact that I had an accent (I was born in Haiti =D) and for awhile I was bullied because of all of it. I eventually grew out of those feelings.....and then I accepted Christ as my personal Savior and truly started to live on fire for Him. Persecution is real on these streets especially when you are really living out loud and boldly for him. But be encourage because you are not in bad company, all the apostles minus Judas, the early church members in Acts and our Savior were all persecuted. God has called you to be set apart, to be a holy nation, strange, unique individuals. He has created you to stand apart. I truly understand the desire to fit in but know that a diamond can lose its shine by hiding amongst rocks but never its value. Don't fear standing out, fear instead blending in with the mundane o_0.

2.      During a dark and foggy night when everything seem to be out of their control Rudolph purpose is revealed. There has been moments especially in this season when I have cried out in frustration to God regarding my purpose. He answered me saying

"Don't be so stressed and worried about finding your purpose that you forget to LIVE on purpose. Don't you understand that I am God, I see beyond what you see, and I know beyond your understanding. I have created you for a purpose on purpose, your eyes have yet to see, ears have heard, or your heart have imagined what I have in store for you. But I need you to TRUST me and rely on me beyond your thoughts, feelings, and understanding. Seek me with your all and I will provide for you."

The blessings to come may not be visible in the darkness and persecution that you are dealing with but I encourage you to rejoice in it NOW, because what's coming is better. Your action and behavior in your season of darkness however will influence how brightly your light shine. Guard those gates, live righteously, work with excellence as if unto the Lord, study the word, seek to constantly renew your mind, fellowship with like minded individuals, submit to wise counsel, seek God's presence instead of his presents and observe how the puzzle pieces begin to fit into place. Instead of fretting start praying.

3.      I find it funny how after Rudolph was recognized and promoted the other reindeer's who used to ridicule and ostracize him all began to love them. Now I didn't get an exact message in my spirit from God but I did get this from my sister Heather Lindsey, "Not everyone is qualify to be in every season with you". We must all do an inventory as this year ends, what relationship are we attempting to bring into this new year that God has told us to let go?? Who are you trying to carry into this new season with you that God has asked you to release??

We have to do an inventory and truly reflect on who we are letting speak into our lives and into our future. If you're carrying a past hurt, pain, trauma, or guilt from your past......release it, those things are shackles that will drag you down to where you have been freed from. If you have laid things at the feet of Jesus please leave it there, don't be fooled by the loneliness that you may feel. The past was not that great but the future in His Hands is so much better!

Merry Christmas Beloveds!

Love y'all,