A Heart Like Hosea

I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. Hosea 2:19

For awhile I have been praying, "God give me a heart like Hosea, a heart that breaks after what breaks your heart, a heart that desires to reach out to the lost of this world". Today I realized what it means to pray that prayer. I don't know if I am just extremely sensitive to the Holy Spirit due to my experience during the Pinky Promise Conference 2015 which I will blog about later, but today I felt my heart break. It hurts so much Beloved that all I can do is shed tears and implore our Heavenly Abba to grant us mercy.

These past few months our world has been riddled with violence, pain, hatred, and so much evilness. I nearly became immune to it, it slowly became an expectation to hear about something horrible happening in the news, I was no longer surprise, I was no longer affected. This past week was a prime example of evilness gaining strength in our nation. On June 17 around 8 pm in Charleston, South Carolina a young man, Dylann Roof, opened fire in a church Bible Study killing 9 people. This was a hate crime. This young white man went in to this predominantly African American church to kill the people there because they looked different from him. His actions disturbed me, his hate angered me but what broke me was the victims families response to him.  They responded in love, a love that could only come from Jesus Christ. I was floored.. Loving/ forgiving is easy until you have something that you truly have to love someone through and forgive someone for. This family had every reason to respond in anger, in their emotions, with their hate, in fact it was expected...but when they responded differently it showed that love has the power to overcome any evil/hate. That's when you realize that you can't love completely out of your own strength, you need the supernatural grace of God. For He IS love. 

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. ~1 John 4:18

Today this love is under attack. It is being challenged and is being redefined by man. The part that hurts is that the Body of Christ is allowing it by our actions and convictions. My focus today is not even about the law that was passed that has now made Same-sex marriage legal in the United States. That isn't my focus because I trust Gods word, for his word is eternal and everything else is temporary. My focus is on the response of the body of Christ. We are divided church and confused and I just don't get it. The Word says that a house divided can not stand. We hesitate and walk in fear while knowing the truth. We sugarcoat and tone down the Gospel that has the ability to save and transform because we fear persecution. We hold our testimonies and are unprepared to provide a reason for our hope which is Jesus Christ. We need to stand on the truth of God and not our opinions of it. His word is clear.

We are posting statements of "God is love, and it's not my place to judge.... while failing to mention that He is also Holy, righteous and we are called to be doers of the word, to submit ourselves therefore to God to resist the devil". 

What happen to our conviction Church?? 

For whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. (James 4:16).  

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12).

We are called to live as people who are free, not using our freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. (1 Peter 2:16)

We have Blood on our Hands.

I pray you hear my heart in this blog. Today I realize and literally felt this prayer in every part of me. My heart is breaking for this world and I can not contain my tears. So much so that I had to ask God for forgiveness. Forgiveness for focusing on earthly things like my career, my single status, my emotions, fear, guilt, shame about my past, need for money and car etc.. When he's been trying to get me in a place where I could be empty to be used by Him to minister to his people. Beloved do you feel it? Do you feel the breaking of Gods heart for this world?? Do you feel his yearning for these lost souls?? Or are you so focus on self like I was. So focus on what you need from God that you have turn deaf ears to His heart desire, so focus on your inadequacy that you forgot that God can use those very things your hiding to save someone soul. Is your comfort zone worth someone very soul and eternity?? Beloved we need to repent of our selfish ways and seriously pray for the Holy Spirit to wreck our hearts. I want to have a heart and life that yearns after the things of God. I want a heart like Hosea.

What does a heart like that look like?? I guess we have to first figure out who this Hosea was. Why was his story so powerful? Let's explore it together. 

Hosea was a minor prophet who lived during the final days of the Northern Kingdom. Hosea had such a heart for God that God chose to use his family life as a symbol to represent His constant love, grace, mercy for an unfaithful nation, the Israelites. God ordered Hosea to marry Gomer, an adulterous/unfaithful women knowing full well she will step out on him. The crazy part is that all though his heart is constantly broken by her unfaithfulness, God orders him to continuously love her, to take her back and care for her. Hosea love for Gomer is a representation of Gods covenant love for the unfaithful Israelites. 

Heart like Hosea Is:

1. Obedient- To marry a woman during that period of time with a reputation for being loose was to be an open target for ridicule. Can you imagine being a prophet telling people that God will punish the people for their unfaithfulness and hearing someone make a jab about your wife?? But Hosea didn't care what men thought of Him, he cared about what God has to say...and when he spoke he listen.

2. Sensitive to Gods voice- In today's generation we are sensitive to everyone and everything but God. We waver and flow from whichever opinions sounds the best to our ears. One of the biggest complaint that I hear is, "Well, how do I know that it's God and not me or the enemy??" You can only know someone you spend time with. You can only recognize the voice of someone you constantly listen to. There are too many people who have opinions about God yet don't KNOW Him.

3. Relentless in its Convictions- Hosea wasn't afraid to stand alone. Even if the attack came from home, from his peers he did not compromise his convictions to fit in. Even when everyone else was living for the world, he had determined in his heart that he would live and speak for God. We need that conviction again y'all.

4. Broken for what breaks God's heart. God loves people. He desires so much for them to come into his rest. He desires for them to be whole. He desires for them to come into the knowledge of Him. He desires for the least to be taken care of. He desires having fellowship with us. He desires for us to be able to approach his throne with reverence, adoration. He desires for no one to perish but for all to be saved through a relationship with his son Jesus Christ. Do you desire to see people saved? Set free? Delivered? Living boldly and completely in Him? You can answer yes to all those that's great! My follow up questions to that are when was the last time you shared Christ with someone? Do you live in the freedom that Christ died to give you or are you justifying sin in your life?

5. Filled with Unconditional love-  One of the parts that brings me to tears is when Hosea redeems his wife. Hosea buys back his wife from slavery for way more than she was worth because God called him to love her. To have a heart like Hosea we need to love the unlovable, to forgive the unforgivable unconditionally. We should treat people with more love, respect, honor than they deserve because Christ gave us more that we could ever hope for on that cross. He gave us a chance to be reconciled with our Heavenly Abba. 

Let's stop focusing on us Beloveds. Let's truly be free! Walk in obedience so you can lead someone to Christ. Resist the devil. Die daily to your flesh. Seek God! Let's live this life for real for real! Pray, Pray, Pray. It's time we took our place. Let's agree in prayer today. 

Beloved Rise,

Fear of a Woman

So I just experience a moment that has left me feeling a series of emotions, fear, anxiety, slight panic, and absolute RAGE. So much so I felt led to write this blog while sipping some tea to really just process it completely and just allow the Holy Spirit to calm my nerves.

I don't even know how to properly express the feelings I am experiencing right now. I think one of the main one that just automatically come to mind is, I am PISSED OFF. I am LIVID that I live in a world/ society where my safety is in jeopardy simply because I am a woman. I am upset because we live in a world where degrading women have become such a norm that we no longer blink an eye when it happens. I am furious because more and more often in every form of media woman are being shown less as human beings and more as human parts met to be pawed or handled...but mostly heartbroken at the message we are sending to our young girls and teaching our young boys. Fear is suppose to be my friend, blame is suppose to be my burden to bear...and tonight the idea of carrying either has left me infuriated and reflective.

The Moment

On my way home tonight from church, I rode the bus home. Within a few minutes of actually riding on the bus my phone died. I wasn't too concerned because the bus ride was 40 minutes long and depending on the bus driver the walk home never takes me more than 5 minutes. As I hot step my way home I realize that I had lock my key in my mothers car, and as I came closer to home I realize that the only person home was my mother who was most definitely in deep sleep. Rang the doorbell, no answer...knock on the door, no response. Now having a dead phone has become an issue.

I decided to find a place/ store where I could charge my phone and proceeded down the street. Almost immediately I was approached by a guy who offered me to just follow him to his house that was across the street where "I can hang out and watch TV while my phone charged...This was followed by comments like "You're so beautiful, how old are you, you have such a pretty face" Immediately red alarms went off and I ended the conversation. The mister must not have gotten the memo even when I stated that someone was waiting for me because he decided to move a bit closer. I firmly told him no and good night and proceeded to walk across the street towards a gas station that was filled with people. As I got closer I notice a car was following me!! This guy had jump in his car to follow me and proceeded to drive and stop every few steps I took all the while gesturing for me to get in the car. Right before I reach the gas station, he screech the car to a stop and attempted to get out.

I was scared.

I made it into the safety of the gas station and someone who actually saw the whole interaction asked me if I was all right. I charge my phone for a bit, contacted my brother and told him the situation. The gas station was closing and I decided to make a decision. I was not going to allow this man to place fear in my heart, I waited a bit to make sure his car was not close and decided to take the opposite street home.

Power of Prayer 

It's crazy how heightened your senses become when you are afraid. Every sounds seem like roaring thundering crashing right over your head...Every shadow a living, breathing incarnation of every childhood nightmare.

So I prayed

"Daddy I am scared but I believe the promises that you promised me. You said no weapons formed against me shall prosper, that you are always with me and that you will never leave or forsake. So protect Abba from the sight of evil men, hide me from the wickedness in their hearts. Holy Spirit comfort me and send my angels to be a shield around me right now"

I felt peace. 

As soon as I step up my stairs I could hear the stirrings of my mother as she yank the doors open, demanding to know who was following and if everything was all right. Now my Mama has always been a fighter and I'm pretty sure if anyone was behind me she would have tackled them down. I rarely doubt that this woman would protect me with her life if she was face with that decision.

Power of Words 

My grandmother once told me "that some people just don't know how to show their concern,fear (emotions) properly, rather than get upset at everything they say, seek to find the spirit behind the words"  

This little piece off wisdom has helped me guard my heart from many hurtful things that could have easily taken root in my heart. It has allowed me to learn the art of forgiveness quickly. With that being said, my mother is that person, whose words don't always convey the message that I know she truly wants to express in her heart. That has caused a lot of friction between us which I am holding fast to prayer about, believing God to do something awesome as I trust Him more and more...but tonight she said something that I just thought was extremely insensitive and stupid and a perfect display of how the world thinks. 

She said, "It was God who was protecting you BUT as a young lady you need to be careful what you wear because if you weren't wearing something revealing he would have never approached you that way"............

All though it drives me up the wall that I have to insert this disclaimer I would like to add I was wearing a (romper with a blue calf-length skirt over it *per direction of Holy Spirit* with a cardigan)

All though I understood from practice that she didn't know how to properly express concern what I heard was..

It's your fault

It's your responsibility

You're to blame for what happen

Men can't help themselves and as woman you should no better

That 3 letter word shifted responsibility, that 3 letter word created even for a moment this idea that I deserve to be mistreated instead of treated like a lady, that 3 letter word said to a man who had perversion and wickedness in his heart toward a woman that he was not too blame, that 3 letter word reminded me that I live in fallen world because the word that made me feel and think these things came from own my mother. 

Do I blame her??.....No, she was taught this herself by someone else. Did I learn something about this?.....Yes, I learn that there is a secret, hidden part of me that I have yet to allow the Holy Spirit to heal. I realize this experience has flash a light on a can of worms, ugliness, pain that I am not ready to explore yet and that's ok. But it's made me even more aware that my God is REAL, PRESENT, and ACTIVE. That He is there as my hidden place, my fortress, my strong refuge, my comforter late at night. So my reflection before I call it a night is filled with anguish for my sisters and hope that this reach someone that was hurting. You are not alone.

To those who have been raped/molested/terrorized: I am so so so sorry that you have endured any of it. It breaks my heart that you a survivor of such evilness. I want you to know that you are NOT to blame, you did not deserve that pain and God wept when it happen. He wept that something was stolen from you (innocence, joy, dignity, security, peace of mind, self-esteem) by force. But as you read this I want you to know there is no comforter like the Holy Spirit, and vengeance is The Lord. He LOVES you so and has the power to give you back all the things that were taken from you in abundance. You are valuable, beautiful, wonderfully and fearfully made, a masterpiece, a princess of The King, filled with purpose. I want you to know for yourself the comfort that I am getting tonight as your own. It's not easy but trust me when I say God will never leave you on this journey.

Beloved Rise  

Don't Leave me Here

"Poem by: Joseph Solomon from @chasegodtv"

To say I can completely relate to this poem would be an understatement. To act as if doubt hasn't been that unwanted friend that I willingly entertained for so long would be a lie. At one point in my life it was my constant companion, weighing in on every decision I made, creating landscapes from my fear and uncertainty. Daily I have to choose to leave the comforts of doubt to follow the unexplored, certainty of faith in Christ. It's HARD y'all. I am not going to sit here and pretend I have figured out faith and what it means to live by faith through faith without a shadow of a doubt but I want to share and be real about the journey. God is faithful, the most patient, loving and constant force in my life. 

At one point in my life; I would say a good portion of my college career, I was Agnostic.

noun

1. a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God or of anything beyond material phenomena; a person who claims neither faith nor disbelief in God.

synonyms: skeptic, doubter, cynic

I didn't flat out disbelieve God existed, I just doubted his sovereignty. I doubted if he was ENOUGH. I loved and still to this day enjoy studying religions, I also enjoy philosophy, sociology, the wrestling of the mind that it took when it came to studying ethics. Every religion had a semblance of truth and point blank I wasn't ready to pledge complete allegiance to the one true God, because 

1. I really didn't know what that looked like

2. God didn't make sense to my human intellect (that sounds really duhhh...but for me I had to get over a sense of pride, and myself in general)

3. I was afraid of what it meant to truly LIVE this thing out (i.e, what I had to give up, people's opinion, backlash from society)  

God didn't make sense to me. Living by faith wasn't tangible to me. I needed proof. I was sold out on the philosophy that everything I needed to get through this life existed from within, you've probably heard statement like "Look within, you have everything you need to succeed, search for  your dharma etc..." We think all of this is a new age philosophy but I now believe that it is the oldest. Isn't it interesting how in our world it's silly to think of a car sustaining itself without gas, or a tree without the sun/water, or even an animal without a food/energy source YET we believe that human beings is capable of sustaining itself through life while using everything else on Earth (outside themselves) in order to form a life.

All of creation proclaims of the existence of a CREATOR, but the most complex, unique, unexplainable creation of them all, us, constantly and consistently deny the ultimate goodness, existence, and sovereignty of Him. That was the mistake/belief that cause man to fall. That was the opening scene to doubt.

                                                                So what is doubt?? 

Doubt is defined by Webster as:

verb 

1. To lack confidence in; distrust; to be uncertain

2. Uncertainty of belief or opinion that often interferes with decision-making; uncertainty, hesitation, to waver, lack of conviction

Archaic: to suspect, fear  

Etymology which is the study of the origin of words and the way in which their meaning have changed throughout history reveals that doubt originate from the Latin word "dubitare'  meaning to question, to waver in opinion, (related to dubius) which originally meant "to have to choose between two things"

Opening Scene of Doubt: The Fall of Man 

Gen 2: 15-17 God's Command

Gen 3: 1-7 satan Interpretation

  

From these few passage two main things stood out to me that genuinely blew my mind.

1. What God said: "You may surely eat of every tree of the garden but...."

      - When God speaks it is affirming, positive (may surely), there is a sense/feeling of abundance that is                balance with instruction and warning of consequences.

2. What the enemy says to deceive: "Did God actually say, you shall not eat of any tree in the garden?..."

      - Creates a feeling of lack/deprivation, as if you are missing out on something.

      - A subtle twist of truth (every vs. any)

In a moment fear entered Eve heart, in a second doubt invaded the walls of her mind. Eve wavered; she questioned the goodness, power, omniscience of God. She entertained the idea that apart from Him, she could sustain herself. 

She lost focus and faith on the Goodness of God which led her to fall prey to the lies of the enemy.

Message in the Mess 

1. The enemy will always work  on our insecurities really trying to exacerbate or make them more important than they really are, instilling fear or a feeling of lack.

     - There is NOTHING better outside the will of God  1 Cor 2:9

2. Doubt begins with a little that makes us question God's sovereignty, goodness, and authority/will in regards to our life.

   - Learn to identify those little lies/negative thoughts and confront them with the truth of God. 2 Cor 10: 4-5 

3. Don't make a decision off of fear (High Emotions)

4. Don't focus on your lacks, focus on the affirmation/instruction of God.

      - God is not a dictator, and he's not trying to keep you from more. He is protecting you from destruction,          usually self-inflicted.

You will never be left in the valley of doubt, but eventually you have to look up to the Light. I know this is one of my heavier blogs, but it is my heartfelt prayer to reach to that one person who was like me, not sold on loving Christ for real for whatever reason but feeling the tug to explore a little deeper. Explore for yourself Beloved he will encounter you and that moment will forever change you.

Beloved Rise,

(Pics of my most recent leap of faith)

Honeymoon High

I catch myself lately daydreaming about my wedding day. Imagining how I would feel surrounded by my girlfriends on the day, laughing and giggling in happiness, picturing that moment when they help me in my dress. I even go as far as visualizing the walk down the aisle, the feeling of butterflies taking flight in my heart and spirit as I look at my groom waiting for me. Whew

The part that usually has me shaking back to reality in order to stop myself from awakening things that don't need to be awaken (Let's be real #CelibacyStruggle) is the HONEYMOON. The moment I start thinking of the nervousness anticipation of that night I realize that my thoughts are going too far and I have to reel it back in. When I seize control of those thoughts I had a "Light-Bulb" moment when I realize I have visualized more about the wedding and honeymoon, then the actual MARRIAGE.

Then God drop on my Spirit.

"I've lost many brides lost in a honeymoon high not ready to give our marriage the work and effort it needs to survive" 

Wow. Did I get lost in a Honeymoon High? Have I lost the desire to put in work for my marriage with Christ in my quest to feel like I did when I first encountered Him. It simply amazes me when God speaks to me something so profound in such a simple and imaginative way. He is so aware of how to communicate to us in a way that we can understand if we choose to listen. So what is a Honeymoon High? I guess the best way to visualize it spiritually is to break down the idea naturally. All though I have never been married it's not too difficult for me to picture what a honeymoon might feel like.

The Honeymoon 

1. Very intimate

- You are becoming aware of someone else in every way. Its the act of of becoming ONE

2. Outside the realm of reality

- Everything appears to be perfect, very picturesque, nothing is wrong

3. Bubble-Protected 

- In a sense you feel as if it's us against the world.

4. Filled with Highs and non-existent Lows

- From the emotions, passion, desire there seems to be a cascading waterfalls of feelings

When we encounter Christ we fall into a honeymoon high. It is LOVE. For me I felt like I experience and saw God in everything. From the sunrise, through rainfall, in the way the wind blew across my face, in music, movies I felt like everything just spoke of God's love for me. That encounter is intimate, it's usually when we first feel the most vulnerable and exposed, very much like a honeymoon night for a couple who is experiencing each other for the very first time. 

After that encounter I was in a fantasy world where nothing could go wrong. I had yet to go through any trials, tribulation, or temptations that gave me roots in Christ but you honestly couldn't tell me anything. I had yet to hear the word "no" from God or "not yet". I had no idea that I would go through some things that would shake me and cause me to wonder, "Gosh God is this really worth it?" My world with Christ was very much a bubble, I spent hours reading my word alone in my room, I didn't want to deal with people because for the most part human beings got on my nerves *can I just be real*  and at this stage I didn't need anyone but God on my island. 

All though I wouldn't trade that time for anything in this world, I realize looking back now that it was very emotionally led. I believe God was with me because I felt him. Let me be clear in saying; I do believe that having a HONEYMOON season in Christ is part of the process of growing in Christ. The problem comes up when you are shock, surprise, upset when the honeymoon ends and the marriage begins. 

So many of us are shock when hard times begin to show up in our relationship with Christ. When friends who used to be there fall away, when people start to complain and talk about how different you now are, when family just don't understand your relationship, or when you have to let go or sacrifice things/people who are pulling us away from Christ. We are unprepared for the daily death of our flesh in a world that tells us "if it doesn't make us feel happy let it go". So many of us now are spiritually separated or divorce from Christ because we weren't ready to commit to our marriage. We have so many leaving the protection of true love in search of something that feels good but is destroying us in the process.

A good marriage takes work. Point Blank. The Bible says that we are the Bride of Christ, which means we are married to him. I just started to understand this concept and I realize that a lot of things I do in my spiritual marriage with Christ I wouldn't in my right mind want to do in an earthly marriage.

"Imagine waking up next to your husband, you feel his presence and he gently reaches out to you but you quickly move away to brush your teeth, wash your face grabbing your phone in the process. Slowly but surely emails and calls from work & other people start popping up and you rush past your husband in an attempt to get dress. Failing to see his desire to embrace you, never realizing you have yet to say good morning. In your hurry you decide to skip breakfast and shout over your shoulder a quick "I love you" as you get in the car. When he tries to talk to you about the lack of time you guys spend together, you get defensive. When he attempts to participate in activities with you, you see Him as overbearing. Slowly but surely you pull away until another man starts to grab your attention. He makes you feel inhibited, fun, daring and you confide in him instead of your husband........

Eventually if this continues a strain on the marriage will occur. Eventually a separation will happen where your heart becomes lost in the world. If you don't feel close the honest truth is it's your feelings and not the truth. Feelings are deceiving and flimsy. If you are not feeling your relationship with Christ right now realize that your feelings will continue as long as you allow it. He hasn't moved away from this relationship, you have. He love you sooooo sooo much and wants to work it out with you. 

Don't be so lost in the honeymoon high that you fail to allow God to show you how awesome and so much sweeter a lifetime love that has endured a few tests and trials is. Fight for this relationship, guard those gates, treat it as the marriage that it is, talk to him, pass those tests, and tell those feelings to bow down.  If you haven't encountered Christ, check out my first blog  . 

He is the best LOVE story I've ever experience Beloved, Whisper to a Lonely Heart. Love y'all

Beloved Rise,

   (One of my beautiful PP Sisters and I at Jonathan McReynolds concert)

Rudolph Light Bulb Moment: "God Speaks"

Have you ever had a light bulb moment while listening to Christmas music?? Well until today that's never happened to me. What I realize as I reflect on this moment is that when you come to a season where you crave to hear from God, he begins to speak to you through the most unexpected and beautiful ways!! Isn't it awesome?! It's like God is intentionally seeking to get your attention by using things that you love like music, nature, literature, movies, childhood memories, anything that has significance to us. This lesson and bit of wisdom has come during a time where I've realized that I have to stop beating myself down because I don't hear God the same way that someone else on this journey hears him. Isn't it silly how we expect a God of such relational intimacy & creativity to interact and communicate with us the same generic way. I thank God that he is BIGGER than my limitations and imagination.

With that said there is one absolute definite way that God speaks and that is through his word, the Holy Bible. The wisdom and knowledge that comes with reading his word can never be attained without first having a healthy dose of fear (reverence) for who HE is (i.e great I AM, the Alpha & Omega, Creator, Savior, Omnipresent, Omniscient God). It still blows my mind that THIS very same God desires a relationship with ME. So much so that he sent The Lord Jesus Christ to die to be a bridge for me to his Holy presence. That degree of Love overwhelms me everyday..... Whew!

                                                                                                                            

As we continue to explore the communication prowess of God we recognize there are several different ways that he has been known to speak to man. I just want to list four that really stands out to me currently....

Ø  Celestial beings, aka angels: One of the best examples of this is Mary & Joseph, the human parents of Jesus Christ. Mary was told about the conception of her son Jesus Christ as an engaged virgin by the angel Gabriel, Luke 1:26-38

Ø  Dreams: The birth and early years of Jesus life was guided and protected by God because he communicated to his father Joseph through dreams, from his escape from Egypt to his return to Nazareth God led Joseph, Matthew 2: 12-21

Ø  Prophecy/Prophets: I truly believe that God had/s anointed everyone to be his mouthpiece but there are notably some that he uses as loud horns to speak to his bull headed people (i.e. Jeremiah, Isaiah, Daniel, and Hosea to name a few).

      v  Side Note: For me one of the prophets that speaks the clearest and loudest is Hosea. Hosea was a young preacher who was told by God to marry/love unconditionally a prostitute, Gomer, who would cheat on him consistently. God uses Hosea obedience & love as a physical representation of how HE continues to pursue, woe, nurture, buy back an unworthy people simply because of LOVE. There is a movie on the Book of Hosea on Netflix if you haven't seen it go check it out.
                                                      
Ø  Inner Voice/Holy Spirit: God WALKED and COMMUNED on this Earth with Man in the Garden of Eden until man fell hard into sin, Jesus was born and LIVED with man until man's pride and disbelief, harden heart led them to KILL the Savior. Praise God that this isn't the end of the story!! When Christ rose again before he left he spoke of a gift that was given to us by God, the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is the remaining part of the Trinity that still walks/lives on this Earth with us. It is the guide, our friend in need, an intercessor, and an advocate. I believe in the Trinity but if I can be honest it's often really hard for me to rationalize and understand the majesty of it all. I have learned to STOP trying to force understanding but rather grow in it. So for me this is how God has been slowly revealing to me this whole thing

v  God: the Great I AM, he is the Creator, author of time, and the essence of my being. Words aren't enough to describe HIM but the few that I use to call him is Abba, Father, Jireh.

v  Jesus Christ: My first love, my Savior, the Son who came to this earth to die in order for me to LIVE. He is amazing!! Falling in Love with him daily is an adventure

v  Holy Spirit: That dear and beyond awesome girlfriend, who gives me advice and direction, the one I contact when dealing with issues as simple as what to wear/what to eat, to intense, confrontational moments when I really want to  tell someone about themself  *ghetto spelling intentional y'all know some people want to make you get out of character*

Now I say ALL of this in order to tell you guys about what God spoke to me about a reindeer

yes.......a reindeer and his name was Rudolph

Cues Music:

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (reindeer)
Had a very shiny nose (like a light bulb)
And if you ever saw it (saw it)
You would even say it glows (like a flashlight)
And all of the other reindeer (reindeer)
Used to laugh and call him names (like Pinocchio)
They never let poor Rudolph (Rudolph)
Join in any reindeer games( like monopoly)

Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say, (ho ho ho)
Rudolph with your nose so bright,
Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?

Then all the reindeer loved him,(loved him)
And they shouted out with glee, (Yipee)
Rudolph the red-nose Reindeer (reindeer)
You'll go down in history (like George Washington)

I am pretty sure like me you just sang this song, with the music parts included!! Hahaha. Now I just want to share with you 3 points that God spoke to me when I was listening to this childhood Christmas song that correlates to each of the verses above and I sincerely hope that it encourages you and changes forever how you view and listen to God.

1.      When Rudolph was born, he was visibly different. His uniqueness set apart, and caused the other reindeer's that didn't understand to ostracize and ridicule him. His difference cause him to be left out. Then the Lord said to me,

"Beloved, just like Rudolph was born unique and different so are you. When you were being made in the womb, before your mother even knew of you, I LOVED YOU. I was busy stitching you to my perfect image, forming you, placing things in you to be birth at the appropriate time, nothing was a mistake. When you took your first breath into this world, my angels rejoice, and I smiled because I saw you and I knew my creation was good, in all this world there is none like you, YOU are my MASTERPIECE"

Whew! Talk about instant tears. I don't know if you are like me but for a long time I was stuck trying to be somebody else. I really didn't love myself. I didn't like the color of my skin, I didn't like my size, the texture of my hair or the fact that I had an accent (I was born in Haiti =D) and for awhile I was bullied because of all of it. I eventually grew out of those feelings.....and then I accepted Christ as my personal Savior and truly started to live on fire for Him. Persecution is real on these streets especially when you are really living out loud and boldly for him. But be encourage because you are not in bad company, all the apostles minus Judas, the early church members in Acts and our Savior were all persecuted. God has called you to be set apart, to be a holy nation, strange, unique individuals. He has created you to stand apart. I truly understand the desire to fit in but know that a diamond can lose its shine by hiding amongst rocks but never its value. Don't fear standing out, fear instead blending in with the mundane o_0.

2.      During a dark and foggy night when everything seem to be out of their control Rudolph purpose is revealed. There has been moments especially in this season when I have cried out in frustration to God regarding my purpose. He answered me saying

"Don't be so stressed and worried about finding your purpose that you forget to LIVE on purpose. Don't you understand that I am God, I see beyond what you see, and I know beyond your understanding. I have created you for a purpose on purpose, your eyes have yet to see, ears have heard, or your heart have imagined what I have in store for you. But I need you to TRUST me and rely on me beyond your thoughts, feelings, and understanding. Seek me with your all and I will provide for you."

The blessings to come may not be visible in the darkness and persecution that you are dealing with but I encourage you to rejoice in it NOW, because what's coming is better. Your action and behavior in your season of darkness however will influence how brightly your light shine. Guard those gates, live righteously, work with excellence as if unto the Lord, study the word, seek to constantly renew your mind, fellowship with like minded individuals, submit to wise counsel, seek God's presence instead of his presents and observe how the puzzle pieces begin to fit into place. Instead of fretting start praying.

3.      I find it funny how after Rudolph was recognized and promoted the other reindeer's who used to ridicule and ostracize him all began to love them. Now I didn't get an exact message in my spirit from God but I did get this from my sister Heather Lindsey, "Not everyone is qualify to be in every season with you". We must all do an inventory as this year ends, what relationship are we attempting to bring into this new year that God has told us to let go?? Who are you trying to carry into this new season with you that God has asked you to release??

We have to do an inventory and truly reflect on who we are letting speak into our lives and into our future. If you're carrying a past hurt, pain, trauma, or guilt from your past......release it, those things are shackles that will drag you down to where you have been freed from. If you have laid things at the feet of Jesus please leave it there, don't be fooled by the loneliness that you may feel. The past was not that great but the future in His Hands is so much better!

Merry Christmas Beloveds!

Love y'all,