A Heart Like Hosea

I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion. Hosea 2:19

For awhile I have been praying, "God give me a heart like Hosea, a heart that breaks after what breaks your heart, a heart that desires to reach out to the lost of this world". Today I realized what it means to pray that prayer. I don't know if I am just extremely sensitive to the Holy Spirit due to my experience during the Pinky Promise Conference 2015 which I will blog about later, but today I felt my heart break. It hurts so much Beloved that all I can do is shed tears and implore our Heavenly Abba to grant us mercy.

These past few months our world has been riddled with violence, pain, hatred, and so much evilness. I nearly became immune to it, it slowly became an expectation to hear about something horrible happening in the news, I was no longer surprise, I was no longer affected. This past week was a prime example of evilness gaining strength in our nation. On June 17 around 8 pm in Charleston, South Carolina a young man, Dylann Roof, opened fire in a church Bible Study killing 9 people. This was a hate crime. This young white man went in to this predominantly African American church to kill the people there because they looked different from him. His actions disturbed me, his hate angered me but what broke me was the victims families response to him.  They responded in love, a love that could only come from Jesus Christ. I was floored.. Loving/ forgiving is easy until you have something that you truly have to love someone through and forgive someone for. This family had every reason to respond in anger, in their emotions, with their hate, in fact it was expected...but when they responded differently it showed that love has the power to overcome any evil/hate. That's when you realize that you can't love completely out of your own strength, you need the supernatural grace of God. For He IS love. 

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love. ~1 John 4:18

Today this love is under attack. It is being challenged and is being redefined by man. The part that hurts is that the Body of Christ is allowing it by our actions and convictions. My focus today is not even about the law that was passed that has now made Same-sex marriage legal in the United States. That isn't my focus because I trust Gods word, for his word is eternal and everything else is temporary. My focus is on the response of the body of Christ. We are divided church and confused and I just don't get it. The Word says that a house divided can not stand. We hesitate and walk in fear while knowing the truth. We sugarcoat and tone down the Gospel that has the ability to save and transform because we fear persecution. We hold our testimonies and are unprepared to provide a reason for our hope which is Jesus Christ. We need to stand on the truth of God and not our opinions of it. His word is clear.

We are posting statements of "God is love, and it's not my place to judge.... while failing to mention that He is also Holy, righteous and we are called to be doers of the word, to submit ourselves therefore to God to resist the devil". 

What happen to our conviction Church?? 

For whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin. (James 4:16).  

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12).

We are called to live as people who are free, not using our freedom as a cover-up for evil, but living as servants of God. (1 Peter 2:16)

We have Blood on our Hands.

I pray you hear my heart in this blog. Today I realize and literally felt this prayer in every part of me. My heart is breaking for this world and I can not contain my tears. So much so that I had to ask God for forgiveness. Forgiveness for focusing on earthly things like my career, my single status, my emotions, fear, guilt, shame about my past, need for money and car etc.. When he's been trying to get me in a place where I could be empty to be used by Him to minister to his people. Beloved do you feel it? Do you feel the breaking of Gods heart for this world?? Do you feel his yearning for these lost souls?? Or are you so focus on self like I was. So focus on what you need from God that you have turn deaf ears to His heart desire, so focus on your inadequacy that you forgot that God can use those very things your hiding to save someone soul. Is your comfort zone worth someone very soul and eternity?? Beloved we need to repent of our selfish ways and seriously pray for the Holy Spirit to wreck our hearts. I want to have a heart and life that yearns after the things of God. I want a heart like Hosea.

What does a heart like that look like?? I guess we have to first figure out who this Hosea was. Why was his story so powerful? Let's explore it together. 

Hosea was a minor prophet who lived during the final days of the Northern Kingdom. Hosea had such a heart for God that God chose to use his family life as a symbol to represent His constant love, grace, mercy for an unfaithful nation, the Israelites. God ordered Hosea to marry Gomer, an adulterous/unfaithful women knowing full well she will step out on him. The crazy part is that all though his heart is constantly broken by her unfaithfulness, God orders him to continuously love her, to take her back and care for her. Hosea love for Gomer is a representation of Gods covenant love for the unfaithful Israelites. 

Heart like Hosea Is:

1. Obedient- To marry a woman during that period of time with a reputation for being loose was to be an open target for ridicule. Can you imagine being a prophet telling people that God will punish the people for their unfaithfulness and hearing someone make a jab about your wife?? But Hosea didn't care what men thought of Him, he cared about what God has to say...and when he spoke he listen.

2. Sensitive to Gods voice- In today's generation we are sensitive to everyone and everything but God. We waver and flow from whichever opinions sounds the best to our ears. One of the biggest complaint that I hear is, "Well, how do I know that it's God and not me or the enemy??" You can only know someone you spend time with. You can only recognize the voice of someone you constantly listen to. There are too many people who have opinions about God yet don't KNOW Him.

3. Relentless in its Convictions- Hosea wasn't afraid to stand alone. Even if the attack came from home, from his peers he did not compromise his convictions to fit in. Even when everyone else was living for the world, he had determined in his heart that he would live and speak for God. We need that conviction again y'all.

4. Broken for what breaks God's heart. God loves people. He desires so much for them to come into his rest. He desires for them to be whole. He desires for them to come into the knowledge of Him. He desires for the least to be taken care of. He desires having fellowship with us. He desires for us to be able to approach his throne with reverence, adoration. He desires for no one to perish but for all to be saved through a relationship with his son Jesus Christ. Do you desire to see people saved? Set free? Delivered? Living boldly and completely in Him? You can answer yes to all those that's great! My follow up questions to that are when was the last time you shared Christ with someone? Do you live in the freedom that Christ died to give you or are you justifying sin in your life?

5. Filled with Unconditional love-  One of the parts that brings me to tears is when Hosea redeems his wife. Hosea buys back his wife from slavery for way more than she was worth because God called him to love her. To have a heart like Hosea we need to love the unlovable, to forgive the unforgivable unconditionally. We should treat people with more love, respect, honor than they deserve because Christ gave us more that we could ever hope for on that cross. He gave us a chance to be reconciled with our Heavenly Abba. 

Let's stop focusing on us Beloveds. Let's truly be free! Walk in obedience so you can lead someone to Christ. Resist the devil. Die daily to your flesh. Seek God! Let's live this life for real for real! Pray, Pray, Pray. It's time we took our place. Let's agree in prayer today. 

Beloved Rise,

Don't Leave me Here

"Poem by: Joseph Solomon from @chasegodtv"

To say I can completely relate to this poem would be an understatement. To act as if doubt hasn't been that unwanted friend that I willingly entertained for so long would be a lie. At one point in my life it was my constant companion, weighing in on every decision I made, creating landscapes from my fear and uncertainty. Daily I have to choose to leave the comforts of doubt to follow the unexplored, certainty of faith in Christ. It's HARD y'all. I am not going to sit here and pretend I have figured out faith and what it means to live by faith through faith without a shadow of a doubt but I want to share and be real about the journey. God is faithful, the most patient, loving and constant force in my life. 

At one point in my life; I would say a good portion of my college career, I was Agnostic.

noun

1. a person who believes that nothing is known or can be known of the existence or nature of God or of anything beyond material phenomena; a person who claims neither faith nor disbelief in God.

synonyms: skeptic, doubter, cynic

I didn't flat out disbelieve God existed, I just doubted his sovereignty. I doubted if he was ENOUGH. I loved and still to this day enjoy studying religions, I also enjoy philosophy, sociology, the wrestling of the mind that it took when it came to studying ethics. Every religion had a semblance of truth and point blank I wasn't ready to pledge complete allegiance to the one true God, because 

1. I really didn't know what that looked like

2. God didn't make sense to my human intellect (that sounds really duhhh...but for me I had to get over a sense of pride, and myself in general)

3. I was afraid of what it meant to truly LIVE this thing out (i.e, what I had to give up, people's opinion, backlash from society)  

God didn't make sense to me. Living by faith wasn't tangible to me. I needed proof. I was sold out on the philosophy that everything I needed to get through this life existed from within, you've probably heard statement like "Look within, you have everything you need to succeed, search for  your dharma etc..." We think all of this is a new age philosophy but I now believe that it is the oldest. Isn't it interesting how in our world it's silly to think of a car sustaining itself without gas, or a tree without the sun/water, or even an animal without a food/energy source YET we believe that human beings is capable of sustaining itself through life while using everything else on Earth (outside themselves) in order to form a life.

All of creation proclaims of the existence of a CREATOR, but the most complex, unique, unexplainable creation of them all, us, constantly and consistently deny the ultimate goodness, existence, and sovereignty of Him. That was the mistake/belief that cause man to fall. That was the opening scene to doubt.

                                                                So what is doubt?? 

Doubt is defined by Webster as:

verb 

1. To lack confidence in; distrust; to be uncertain

2. Uncertainty of belief or opinion that often interferes with decision-making; uncertainty, hesitation, to waver, lack of conviction

Archaic: to suspect, fear  

Etymology which is the study of the origin of words and the way in which their meaning have changed throughout history reveals that doubt originate from the Latin word "dubitare'  meaning to question, to waver in opinion, (related to dubius) which originally meant "to have to choose between two things"

Opening Scene of Doubt: The Fall of Man 

Gen 2: 15-17 God's Command

Gen 3: 1-7 satan Interpretation

  

From these few passage two main things stood out to me that genuinely blew my mind.

1. What God said: "You may surely eat of every tree of the garden but...."

      - When God speaks it is affirming, positive (may surely), there is a sense/feeling of abundance that is                balance with instruction and warning of consequences.

2. What the enemy says to deceive: "Did God actually say, you shall not eat of any tree in the garden?..."

      - Creates a feeling of lack/deprivation, as if you are missing out on something.

      - A subtle twist of truth (every vs. any)

In a moment fear entered Eve heart, in a second doubt invaded the walls of her mind. Eve wavered; she questioned the goodness, power, omniscience of God. She entertained the idea that apart from Him, she could sustain herself. 

She lost focus and faith on the Goodness of God which led her to fall prey to the lies of the enemy.

Message in the Mess 

1. The enemy will always work  on our insecurities really trying to exacerbate or make them more important than they really are, instilling fear or a feeling of lack.

     - There is NOTHING better outside the will of God  1 Cor 2:9

2. Doubt begins with a little that makes us question God's sovereignty, goodness, and authority/will in regards to our life.

   - Learn to identify those little lies/negative thoughts and confront them with the truth of God. 2 Cor 10: 4-5 

3. Don't make a decision off of fear (High Emotions)

4. Don't focus on your lacks, focus on the affirmation/instruction of God.

      - God is not a dictator, and he's not trying to keep you from more. He is protecting you from destruction,          usually self-inflicted.

You will never be left in the valley of doubt, but eventually you have to look up to the Light. I know this is one of my heavier blogs, but it is my heartfelt prayer to reach to that one person who was like me, not sold on loving Christ for real for whatever reason but feeling the tug to explore a little deeper. Explore for yourself Beloved he will encounter you and that moment will forever change you.

Beloved Rise,

(Pics of my most recent leap of faith)

Honeymoon High

I catch myself lately daydreaming about my wedding day. Imagining how I would feel surrounded by my girlfriends on the day, laughing and giggling in happiness, picturing that moment when they help me in my dress. I even go as far as visualizing the walk down the aisle, the feeling of butterflies taking flight in my heart and spirit as I look at my groom waiting for me. Whew

The part that usually has me shaking back to reality in order to stop myself from awakening things that don't need to be awaken (Let's be real #CelibacyStruggle) is the HONEYMOON. The moment I start thinking of the nervousness anticipation of that night I realize that my thoughts are going too far and I have to reel it back in. When I seize control of those thoughts I had a "Light-Bulb" moment when I realize I have visualized more about the wedding and honeymoon, then the actual MARRIAGE.

Then God drop on my Spirit.

"I've lost many brides lost in a honeymoon high not ready to give our marriage the work and effort it needs to survive" 

Wow. Did I get lost in a Honeymoon High? Have I lost the desire to put in work for my marriage with Christ in my quest to feel like I did when I first encountered Him. It simply amazes me when God speaks to me something so profound in such a simple and imaginative way. He is so aware of how to communicate to us in a way that we can understand if we choose to listen. So what is a Honeymoon High? I guess the best way to visualize it spiritually is to break down the idea naturally. All though I have never been married it's not too difficult for me to picture what a honeymoon might feel like.

The Honeymoon 

1. Very intimate

- You are becoming aware of someone else in every way. Its the act of of becoming ONE

2. Outside the realm of reality

- Everything appears to be perfect, very picturesque, nothing is wrong

3. Bubble-Protected 

- In a sense you feel as if it's us against the world.

4. Filled with Highs and non-existent Lows

- From the emotions, passion, desire there seems to be a cascading waterfalls of feelings

When we encounter Christ we fall into a honeymoon high. It is LOVE. For me I felt like I experience and saw God in everything. From the sunrise, through rainfall, in the way the wind blew across my face, in music, movies I felt like everything just spoke of God's love for me. That encounter is intimate, it's usually when we first feel the most vulnerable and exposed, very much like a honeymoon night for a couple who is experiencing each other for the very first time. 

After that encounter I was in a fantasy world where nothing could go wrong. I had yet to go through any trials, tribulation, or temptations that gave me roots in Christ but you honestly couldn't tell me anything. I had yet to hear the word "no" from God or "not yet". I had no idea that I would go through some things that would shake me and cause me to wonder, "Gosh God is this really worth it?" My world with Christ was very much a bubble, I spent hours reading my word alone in my room, I didn't want to deal with people because for the most part human beings got on my nerves *can I just be real*  and at this stage I didn't need anyone but God on my island. 

All though I wouldn't trade that time for anything in this world, I realize looking back now that it was very emotionally led. I believe God was with me because I felt him. Let me be clear in saying; I do believe that having a HONEYMOON season in Christ is part of the process of growing in Christ. The problem comes up when you are shock, surprise, upset when the honeymoon ends and the marriage begins. 

So many of us are shock when hard times begin to show up in our relationship with Christ. When friends who used to be there fall away, when people start to complain and talk about how different you now are, when family just don't understand your relationship, or when you have to let go or sacrifice things/people who are pulling us away from Christ. We are unprepared for the daily death of our flesh in a world that tells us "if it doesn't make us feel happy let it go". So many of us now are spiritually separated or divorce from Christ because we weren't ready to commit to our marriage. We have so many leaving the protection of true love in search of something that feels good but is destroying us in the process.

A good marriage takes work. Point Blank. The Bible says that we are the Bride of Christ, which means we are married to him. I just started to understand this concept and I realize that a lot of things I do in my spiritual marriage with Christ I wouldn't in my right mind want to do in an earthly marriage.

"Imagine waking up next to your husband, you feel his presence and he gently reaches out to you but you quickly move away to brush your teeth, wash your face grabbing your phone in the process. Slowly but surely emails and calls from work & other people start popping up and you rush past your husband in an attempt to get dress. Failing to see his desire to embrace you, never realizing you have yet to say good morning. In your hurry you decide to skip breakfast and shout over your shoulder a quick "I love you" as you get in the car. When he tries to talk to you about the lack of time you guys spend together, you get defensive. When he attempts to participate in activities with you, you see Him as overbearing. Slowly but surely you pull away until another man starts to grab your attention. He makes you feel inhibited, fun, daring and you confide in him instead of your husband........

Eventually if this continues a strain on the marriage will occur. Eventually a separation will happen where your heart becomes lost in the world. If you don't feel close the honest truth is it's your feelings and not the truth. Feelings are deceiving and flimsy. If you are not feeling your relationship with Christ right now realize that your feelings will continue as long as you allow it. He hasn't moved away from this relationship, you have. He love you sooooo sooo much and wants to work it out with you. 

Don't be so lost in the honeymoon high that you fail to allow God to show you how awesome and so much sweeter a lifetime love that has endured a few tests and trials is. Fight for this relationship, guard those gates, treat it as the marriage that it is, talk to him, pass those tests, and tell those feelings to bow down.  If you haven't encountered Christ, check out my first blog  . 

He is the best LOVE story I've ever experience Beloved, Whisper to a Lonely Heart. Love y'all

Beloved Rise,

   (One of my beautiful PP Sisters and I at Jonathan McReynolds concert)

"Help I've Fallen and Can't Get Up"

Pregnancy. A powerful time where the intimacy, energy of two people meet and spark life. In one moment planned or not, life begins, an essence begins its journey to being a complete independent being. Cells gather and unite and become tissues, tissues into organs, organs into a system, slowly, consistently pieces stitch together to create a being not like any other in this world. A unique masterpiece, woven together by the Creator. Isn't it amazing?? Simply awe-aspiring to think of how we all came to be from something as small as a peanut. For me pregnancy is one of the most beautiful testimonies of God's power and love for us. Not one of us is the same genetically, we are all made different and special. What love!!

Birth. I would say that it's our first, real traumatic experience in life and our first deep covenant. I think that it's a gift from God that we don't remember that journey, but those moments I believe from labor to delivery are prophetic. When a woman's body is prepared to bring forth life, typically her water breaks. She recognizes the beginning stages when pain starts and all waters break loose (pun intended---=D). As many books as she may have read, nothing can really prepare her for this, nothing can prepare you for that moment when your life changes. Pain---consistent, increasing, piercing, yet purposeful occurs because from it a beautiful being is going to come to be so you endure, and push through (Literally....)

Then after one exhaustive push, there is a release, a quiet stillness, and then..... a cry. In that moment, through blood, a covenant is made. If you have had the blessing of being born to a loving mother/parents, Praise God!! You formed a covenant with someone who has made it their life mission to protect, care, nurture, and love you. No matter the argument, problem, situation remember that. If you are adopted that covenant still stands but that day you were not only borne from a woman's body but a mother's prayer. That is a gift. If you lost your mother, I am so so sorry for your loss, but I want to let you know that you were never left alone. God had charge angels to be with you every step of the way, but most importantly HE never left or forsake you. Through it all He was always there.

Let's fast forward a couple of months. This baby who was once an essence, formed by God in its mother's womb is active, curious, confident in its parent's love, and daring in their exploration of the world. After experimenting with rolling over, bouncing in place, crawling at the speed of light, he feels the urge to stand. Slowly, tentatively he reaches for support and grabs hold of one of the steadiest thing that he can place his hands on and pulls himself up. After a couple try of this standing up adventure, he gets bold enough to let go and very quickly plops back down on the surface. As weeks and months go by so does the length of unassisted stands.

One day there comes the courage and desire to take a couple of steps. After the tentative first one, to the absolute glee of your doting parents, there is a second and third and maybe even a fourth and then all of a sudden you lose your balance and fall HARD. That fall was a surprise and it hurt. You cry and scream, begging to be comforted by a loving hand. You reach out to someone and quickly you are brought close and comforted and reassured that everything will be all right.

After being comforted you remember the feeling of standing on your own. All though it hurt the first couple of times, you keep getting up and trying again, and again, and again, until FINALLY!!! you have a consistent walk.

This is for me a beautiful illustration of our Christian walk with our Heavenly Father.

From the beginning God knew YOU. The Bible says in Psalm 139:13-16 "For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother's womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them." Isn't that beautiful and so moving to know that before you took your first breath of life on this Earth, before your mother or father knew of your very existence, GOD LOVED YOU. Not only that he was planning a life for you, a beautiful one and you had to do nothing to earn it. You've probably heard of the verse, Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for good and not evil, to give you a future and a hope".

v  So no matter what season you are in, single, waiting for a specific prayer consider that you are being prepared, molded, knitted together. Be encouraged, allow God to not only wreck your heart but mend it as well. Be still let God BE God. Surrender.

 When you came to the Kingdom, all of Heaven rejoiced. Angels danced and sang. Our Heavenly Father smiled and said welcome home. For me that moment was almost two years ago!! I thought FINALLY!! I have arrived, my eyes are now open then.........reality hit and I realized that figuratively my water was finally broken, the hard work, struggle, crying, screaming, and pushing aspect had began. The Bible says in Romans 5: 2-4 "Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us" I don't know where I got the illusion that walking with God was going to be easy because in all honesty it's not. It hurts to die to your flesh daily, your pride has to be swallowed plenty of times, your will surrendered, your trust, patience, strength tested, and your fears overcome. Not only that, if I can just be real it's lonely standing apart from a culture that glorifies everything that God HATES, i.e murder, sexual immorality, gossiping, idolatry, hypocrisy and on and on it goes. Yet walking this journey is so worthwhile, the yolk is easy to bear because he first carried it.

v  If you have an illusion that this walk should be easy...please drop that like it's a handful of ravenous snakes. This walk should challenge you. A large part of this walk is the fact that God will test you, strip you, in order to mold you. He wants you to produce fruits. So don't run from being tested, embrace it, seek God's face about everything, spend quality time with him, and when the tests, pain, suffering come recognize it for what it is. A test and then PASS. You won't know the material, if you don't spend time studying the word or listening to the teacher.

As a parent you expect your child to hit certain milestones after they are born. If they don't you worry and quickly seek out the expertise of a specialist. It's the SAME THING with God, only difference is he is the expert =D. There is an expectation that as you walk with God there is a maturity that happens, growth that happens. The word says in 1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways." Honestly there is a point where we need to grow up in our walk with God, we shouldn't be in the same place, dealing with the same temptation months after months. In order to do so our mind has to be transformed.

v  Guarding those gates is now your mission. You can't really grow and mature in your faith and in your walk if you are letting anyone and anything plant seeds in your heart. Study the Word of God, when you come to the Father our minds, history, past is not all of sudden wiped away. Our guilt from it does, but our mind has to undergo changes. So refrain from watching, reading, or listening to anything that isn't pleasing to God or beneficial for your growth (i.e. shows, music, sex/romance novels), especially during the beginning stages. Just like a child/toddler what you see, hear, and watch is what you'll repeat and live.

Finally as we begin to explore who we are in God and start doing visible things that label us as "good Christians" we can have moments of pride. Let me just remind you and myself quickly that without Jesus we are nothing and could do nothing of merit. It sounds a bit harsh but it's the truth, Titus 3:5 "He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit" for in truth "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God," Romans 3:23. No one can boast of their own righteousness because it, salvation, grace, and mercy are all gifts from God.

v  So humble yourselves before you wreck yourself. Never get into the mindset that you are living this thing out of your own strength or ability.

If you have fallen, please reach out to God. Let him comfort you, clean you off. Repent as for forgiveness, turn towards him instead of hiding. Because just like a parent of a fallen child, God does not love you any less because you fell. He is right there waiting for you. Don't hide and continue to backslide. Seek his face, accountability, positive fellowship, and when God has moved and spoken take another step.

Love y'all,

Heather Lindsey- Pregnant with Purpose

"Heather Lindsey is the founder of an awesome organization/movement that I am proud to be a part of known as Pinky Promise. Check it out!!

Pinky Promise & Heatherlindsey.blogspot.com