Road Less Traveled

I was traveling on this road filled with haze...you know that haze that happens when the sun's heat beats on the Earth soo much that it releases tears that turn into that dreamy steam. Well on this road I saw a couple of travelers different height, size, shape, color, age, male, and female, and some I couldn't really tell...all going different directions, all clothe in varying degree of shabbiness and filth, all on the same road. Oddly enough these travelers different in every way contained the same look on their faces. This puzzled me so much that I stopped. I shuddered and wondered did I have that same look? It was a look of pure torment. They all seem lost in a silent battle, eyes lost in a horror that only they could see. Aimlessly they moved but as I looked deeper I realized that something was pulling them deeper into the haze. I saw a weariness, a weariness that was slowly seeping the vibrancy of life from them.

I felt that weariness....I knew that weariness....I felt the tug drawing me deeper into that haze...I guess I did look like them. 

     Gosh I wanted something else....

At the corner of my eye I catch sight of a bright color red. I look up and see a young woman, she has a radiant smile, a joy and peace about her that seem to be contagious. She is heading the other way, pointing to a road less traveled. She attempts to capture the attention of any traveler she comes into contact with convincing them to walk with her...I stared, slowly our eyes connect. She joyously runs towards me and takes me by the hand. That touch felt warm, I didn't realize how cold I was.

She begins to tell me about The Man who will meet me at the beginning of my journey. He would change my life, give me a new hope and purpose. She told me how much he loved me, how much he has been pursuing me. She told that if I accept to walk with Him he promises to never leave or forsake me, promise me a joy that can't be taken. I listened and something entered my heart, hope. I wanted to meet Him.

So I followed her.

The closer we came to this road, the more I wanted to know about Him. The more I wanted to know about this King who came as man to save me from bondage, from a death that I rightly deserve, to pay the price I could never pay. What would I say? What should I do when I meet Him?

Suddenly I was bombarded by thoughts

"Why would he want to see me?"

"He's too good to be true, can he really give me all these things"

"I am not worthy"

"I am a hot mess, he wouldn't want to meet me"

"Maybe I can wait until I am more presentable to meet Him"

Just when I had convinced myself that it would be better to wait to meet him. Just before choosing to completely turn around I look up and I saw Him...in that moment every thought scattered, every fear was cast out, every sadness I've felt paled in comparison to the love I saw in His eyes. That love overwhelmed me so much I was rendered speechless. Silent, steady tears became my words. "You've found me" they said. He lifted his hands for an embrace...for a moment I hesitated.. I looked down at myself filthy, disheveled and I didn't want to make Him dirty, I try to pull at and fix myself quickly and the worst I looked. 

"Come" He said.

His voice drew my focus away from my state to the source of solution.

I don't know when my feet started to move, I don't know when urgency captured my heart turning it to a desperate run but what I knew was He was the answer for that huge void in me. I fell into His embrace and I clung to the source of life. That was the best Fall I've experienced.

"Welcome back my child, I have missed you, oh how I long for this reunion, how I long to hold you and free you from those burdens, I've sent so many to grab your  attention but today you have heard my voice. My Beloved Child"

A dam was released in me and those silent tears became heart wrenching groans. "I am home, my heart sing " there I stayed until slowly my tears abated and my hold loosened enough for me to let out my praise.

I am home.

(Part two to be continued...)

Dear Beloved,

To say this story was my plan would be a lie. It seemed to write itself as it flowed from my spirit. With every word I ministered to my own spirit. Every word brought me back to 3 almost 4 years ago. I remember feeling lost, aimless, weary, burdened, and so deep in darkness. I remember thinking that there must be more but unable to figure out what more was. I remember that moment when I recognize that I was on a road that leading to doom and many were on it with me.

I don't know how many people he sent my way to wake me up, to point me back to Him. I thank God that he kept sending people, that he continued to pursue me and place people and moments in my path that soften my heart to hear Him. I want to thank Heather Lindsey for being my lady in red that finally grabbed my attention to point me back to the road less traveled, back to Jesus. Her joy in Christ created a hunger in me for the same. I wanted it for myself.

This story reminded me of 3 main points.

1. I was once lost. I was once in a place where life had no meaning, no purpose. I was simply going through the motion, a copy of everyone else in the world. I can never be too proud to say that I was once covered in filth, I once was living a life of intentional sin, I was once God enemy but God demonstrates his own love for us in this: while we were still sinners Christ came and died for us (Romans 5:8)

2. Called to be a lady/men in red. Once we have discovered Christ we are each called to share that freedom with others. So many are lost, fighting a losing battle in their own strength all because Gods people are silent about who God is in their life. The joy, peace, love, power that we have in Christ should be so apparent that it draws people to His throne.

3. Choosing the road less traveled and encountering Jesus is part 1. When I was 16 I had my first encounter with Jesus. So much so that I made a decision to be baptized. I had that emotional response, that dam of release but my relationship with Him remained at the encounter. I didn't walk with Him, I didn't grow in Him in fact almost immediately I was blindsided by the world because I didn't grow roots. Beloved we must work out our salvation for whoever is of God hears the words of God. The reason why you do not hear them (His Truth) is that you are not of God. For if you abide in His word, you will truly be His disciples. You will know His voice and you will follow Him.

Beloved Rise,

Honeymoon High

I catch myself lately daydreaming about my wedding day. Imagining how I would feel surrounded by my girlfriends on the day, laughing and giggling in happiness, picturing that moment when they help me in my dress. I even go as far as visualizing the walk down the aisle, the feeling of butterflies taking flight in my heart and spirit as I look at my groom waiting for me. Whew

The part that usually has me shaking back to reality in order to stop myself from awakening things that don't need to be awaken (Let's be real #CelibacyStruggle) is the HONEYMOON. The moment I start thinking of the nervousness anticipation of that night I realize that my thoughts are going too far and I have to reel it back in. When I seize control of those thoughts I had a "Light-Bulb" moment when I realize I have visualized more about the wedding and honeymoon, then the actual MARRIAGE.

Then God drop on my Spirit.

"I've lost many brides lost in a honeymoon high not ready to give our marriage the work and effort it needs to survive" 

Wow. Did I get lost in a Honeymoon High? Have I lost the desire to put in work for my marriage with Christ in my quest to feel like I did when I first encountered Him. It simply amazes me when God speaks to me something so profound in such a simple and imaginative way. He is so aware of how to communicate to us in a way that we can understand if we choose to listen. So what is a Honeymoon High? I guess the best way to visualize it spiritually is to break down the idea naturally. All though I have never been married it's not too difficult for me to picture what a honeymoon might feel like.

The Honeymoon 

1. Very intimate

- You are becoming aware of someone else in every way. Its the act of of becoming ONE

2. Outside the realm of reality

- Everything appears to be perfect, very picturesque, nothing is wrong

3. Bubble-Protected 

- In a sense you feel as if it's us against the world.

4. Filled with Highs and non-existent Lows

- From the emotions, passion, desire there seems to be a cascading waterfalls of feelings

When we encounter Christ we fall into a honeymoon high. It is LOVE. For me I felt like I experience and saw God in everything. From the sunrise, through rainfall, in the way the wind blew across my face, in music, movies I felt like everything just spoke of God's love for me. That encounter is intimate, it's usually when we first feel the most vulnerable and exposed, very much like a honeymoon night for a couple who is experiencing each other for the very first time. 

After that encounter I was in a fantasy world where nothing could go wrong. I had yet to go through any trials, tribulation, or temptations that gave me roots in Christ but you honestly couldn't tell me anything. I had yet to hear the word "no" from God or "not yet". I had no idea that I would go through some things that would shake me and cause me to wonder, "Gosh God is this really worth it?" My world with Christ was very much a bubble, I spent hours reading my word alone in my room, I didn't want to deal with people because for the most part human beings got on my nerves *can I just be real*  and at this stage I didn't need anyone but God on my island. 

All though I wouldn't trade that time for anything in this world, I realize looking back now that it was very emotionally led. I believe God was with me because I felt him. Let me be clear in saying; I do believe that having a HONEYMOON season in Christ is part of the process of growing in Christ. The problem comes up when you are shock, surprise, upset when the honeymoon ends and the marriage begins. 

So many of us are shock when hard times begin to show up in our relationship with Christ. When friends who used to be there fall away, when people start to complain and talk about how different you now are, when family just don't understand your relationship, or when you have to let go or sacrifice things/people who are pulling us away from Christ. We are unprepared for the daily death of our flesh in a world that tells us "if it doesn't make us feel happy let it go". So many of us now are spiritually separated or divorce from Christ because we weren't ready to commit to our marriage. We have so many leaving the protection of true love in search of something that feels good but is destroying us in the process.

A good marriage takes work. Point Blank. The Bible says that we are the Bride of Christ, which means we are married to him. I just started to understand this concept and I realize that a lot of things I do in my spiritual marriage with Christ I wouldn't in my right mind want to do in an earthly marriage.

"Imagine waking up next to your husband, you feel his presence and he gently reaches out to you but you quickly move away to brush your teeth, wash your face grabbing your phone in the process. Slowly but surely emails and calls from work & other people start popping up and you rush past your husband in an attempt to get dress. Failing to see his desire to embrace you, never realizing you have yet to say good morning. In your hurry you decide to skip breakfast and shout over your shoulder a quick "I love you" as you get in the car. When he tries to talk to you about the lack of time you guys spend together, you get defensive. When he attempts to participate in activities with you, you see Him as overbearing. Slowly but surely you pull away until another man starts to grab your attention. He makes you feel inhibited, fun, daring and you confide in him instead of your husband........

Eventually if this continues a strain on the marriage will occur. Eventually a separation will happen where your heart becomes lost in the world. If you don't feel close the honest truth is it's your feelings and not the truth. Feelings are deceiving and flimsy. If you are not feeling your relationship with Christ right now realize that your feelings will continue as long as you allow it. He hasn't moved away from this relationship, you have. He love you sooooo sooo much and wants to work it out with you. 

Don't be so lost in the honeymoon high that you fail to allow God to show you how awesome and so much sweeter a lifetime love that has endured a few tests and trials is. Fight for this relationship, guard those gates, treat it as the marriage that it is, talk to him, pass those tests, and tell those feelings to bow down.  If you haven't encountered Christ, check out my first blog  . 

He is the best LOVE story I've ever experience Beloved, Whisper to a Lonely Heart. Love y'all

Beloved Rise,

   (One of my beautiful PP Sisters and I at Jonathan McReynolds concert)